An Open Letter To The Skinny And Confused Man

Dear Skinny and Confused Man,

I did not notice you until you tapped me on the shoulder while I was halfway through a set of hack squats yesterday morning. Only the most bewildered and confused people interrupt others while they are lifting, which is why I stopped mid set and pulled my ipod out of my ears.

My presupposition that you required help is why I answered your question about what muscles the hack squat works in extreme detail. Your rude follow up response about how it should be working my back and the reason it doesn’t is because I use baby weights was not appreciated.

Please do not take my shocked blinking as acceptance of your ignorance.

I was merely contemplating if high plyo kicks towards your head would serve an benefit to my training. While I added a 10th baby weight plate to the machine and completed my 150th full range of motion squat that morning, I realized high plyo kicks would serve no real benefit for hypertrophy so the supersets were not implemented.

Looking around the gym as you completed full body tricep kickbacks for more oomph and loaded the leg press up with 8 plates to move it two inches with the help of your hands on your knees and severely loud grunts, I realized why you may be confused. The only other woman in the weight area yesterday was training hard, but not very smart, while completing one legged, bosu ball, opposite arm cabled rows.

We shouldn’t judge a whole group of people on one specimen. For instance, if I judged all the men in the weight area on you, I would come to the conclusion that they are all arrogant and demeaning show offs with rounded shoulders and a physique that only a bean pole would covet.

And that just wouldn’t be nice, now would it?

In the future, please refer to the little signs on the machines which clearly state the muscles that should be engaged for the exercise if you have questions.

The back muscles are not highlighted...but you decide whatever you want.

I am sure a man that wouldn’t be caught dead using baby weights made the sign, so you can be assured the information is correct.

Sincerely,

Baby Weights Hoffman