My Career As A Showgirl Is Over

Or, more accurately, never got started.

Hearing that you are most likely not going to be a showgirl while a man is shoving needles into your hips and you’re trying not to scream is not what most women do on a Wednesday afternoon.

  • Apparently I am not most women.

I went back to the Bearded Physio Man for more torture yesterday. After all, if you are going to get better, you have to follow all the steps. You have to do the work. You have to go through the pain.

At least that is what I was telling myself while writhing on the table. Did you know there is an artery right by your IT Band that if nicked could be disastrous?

Me either.

I have to say, having a stranger with a beard grab your IT Band and then having to remain calm while needle gets shoved into it … well … there are more pleasant things to do with your time.

Ticklish doesn’t even begin to describe how it feels when someone touches my IT Band. Taking a deep breath and trying not to grab the needle and throw it across the room, I complied with the treatment.

Bearded Physio Man – Do you want to do this?
Slightly Panicked Donloree – No. But I’m not the kind of woman who backs away from a challenge. Let’s go.
Bearded Physio Man – These hips!
Slightly Panicked Donloree – Amazing right?
Bearded Physio Man – They are sure something…

Despite my tight hips and inability to do high kicks which would help me transition nicely to a job as a showgirl, I nearly kicked him in the head.

It was an accident, although most likely in my heart it was on purpose. 

Still Not Running Donloree – Is it better? Am I better? Do I get to be done and run now?
Bearded Physio Man – Last week we simply worked on the superfluous stuff, we are finally getting to what matters. You’re an onion, lots of layers.
Still Not Running Donloree – Well with my career as a showgirl on standby, we really do need to get me back on the road. A girl needs goals you know.
Bearded Physio Man – 5 km. Slow. Jogging.
Maybe Running Tomorrow Donloree – Sure, awesome. Back at it!
Bearded Physio Man – No hills. No racing. No stairs. No mountains. No intervals. 5 km FLAT and SLOW.
Maybe Running Tomorrow Donloree – Ok, I will jog with the sloths – not the speedsters. And if it hurts … I will stop. Promise.
Bearded Physio Man – Yes. For the love of everything good in the world. Stop. You’re not my first, you know. Runner that is.

I thought it was nice he considers me a runner. 

Dropping by the Frank’s x-country race on my way home from physio was confirmation that I made the right decision to NOT change back into my shorts and t-shirt and run through the knee deep puddles that have formed in the trails.

Edmonton River Valley

Hello from the sidelines!

Clutching in my little red jeep was hard enough, walking even harder. At least now I know what it will be like to be 98 years old.

The good news is I am officially back on the road, albeit slow and short. A woman’s got to start somewhere … doesn’t she?

Flat, boring, slow, and uneventful 5km here I come!

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  1. Long may you run — but not kick….

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