I’ve Been ‘Shoulding’ All Over Myself…

Yesterday morning was kicked off by me rolling out of bed, stumbling to the coffee pot, and starting my list of ‘shoulds‘. Saturday is my day of getting things done that can’t get done during the week.

Saturday is the day I pretend to be Superwoman.

Unfortunately, I am anything but Superwoman.

born to be realPhoto

I am just a normal woman who is tired, makes a lot of mistakes, works as a Human Resources chick 30 hours a week, runs a Leadership Coaching business for way more than 10 hours a week, picks up groceries in between appointments and hopes they don’t freeze to death in the cold, can’t stay on top of the mess at home, and has epic home renovations on the go.

I am ridiculously human.

By 7:45 am yesterday, my Superwoman complex was killing me.

  • You should rip up the living room floor and scrape up the kitchen tile.
  • You should write another chapter in your book.
  • You should bake for the week.
  • You should put something in the crock pot.
  • You should do the dishes.
  • You should move the laundry.
  • You should get to the gym  and ‘kill it‘ before the horde of women all wearing the same shirt show up and hog every piece of equipment possible at the YMCA.
  • You should work on speaking opportunities and send out emails.
  • You should plan and organize the team you’re leading at YC this year.
  • You should set second quarter business goals – you’re already 13 days behind on that task!

…and on and on it went.

All I wanted to do was cry and I had already done that at work on Thursday – twice in fact. There is only so much crying I can tolerate in a week and I had my fill.

Cross that one off the ‘To Do List’.

I find myself cramming who I am into a mold of other people’s success and coming up short.

Don’t compare your life to other people’s highlight reels.
~ Steven Furtick

My body hurt, my soul needed rest, and everything I loved to do seemed like an epic mountain to climb.

human beingPhoto

Instead of hiding under my desk in the office that only has half the floor installed, I grabbed a book and crawled into bed. Two minutes later I was sleeping which is rather amazing since I had just finished drinking a pot of coffee.

I did nothing all day and remembered something foundational.

Be who you are. All of it.

Out of being comes doing, but being rarely comes from doing. My measurement of success is not how much I accomplish, rather how true I am to who God made me to be.

  • Sometimes the very best thing you can do is nothing at all.

Today I start the process of ‘de-shoulding‘ myself, not let other people’s opinion dictate what and how I write and craft my business, sharing who and what I am through writing, and living my life even if it means inviting people over with a half done floor.

I’m still tired, but at least now I know how ok and real it is.

Isn’t it funny the things we have to relearn time and time again?

It is time to BE ME once again.

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  1. “De-shoulding” Permanently in my lexicon. Love!

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