Three Things You Should NEVER Ask a Competitor

I love talking about competing, training, body image, peak week, fake tans, bedazzled bikinis, and all sorts of other random things when it comes to the world of competing, but over the past few years there are a few questions that make me want to scream.

Unless you want to hear me scream, please don’t ask me these questions anymore.

Can’t you have just one?

Nope. If I could, I would. Seriously. I do not think saying no to cheesecake, brownies, ice cream, and high sugar foods makes me better than anyone else. In all honesty I would probably trade you my left arm for a free pass at the Christmas buffet some days.

I like chocolate. I like cake. I LOVE carbs.

And don’t get me started on the nut butter

So no, I can’t just have one and I don’t want to explain why, just trust me on this one.

Are you hungry?

The answer is YES. Always yes. When you hear my stomach flopping around in my belly making the hungry noise it doesn’t mean I get to eat.

This is why I eat a jar of pickles every three days. Kosher dill pickles are the on ‘macro-free‘ treat that doesn’t make the scale protest the next morning.

And yes, I have taken them to the movies to snack on. I am THAT woman.

If you ask me if I am hungry, I will require that you allow me to smell your food whenever and for however long I would like for the rest of eternity.

It only seems fair.

Is it hard?

That noise you hear is the sound of my eyelids blinking at a rate faster than a hummingbird’s wings. Of course it is hard, does it look easy?

Hard doesn’t mean that I don’t like it, that I should stop, or that I am a masochist.

I’m pretty sure being a parent is hard, but no one is telling parents to just ‘stop parenting, eat cake, and stop being so disciplined!

Phew! 

Now you won’t get your head bitten off by a hangry competitor any time soon.

I really am a woman for the people.

What questions do you hate being asked?

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Comments

  1. So funny — I have eaten tens of thousands of pickles; the best appetite suppressant on the planet..

    Forgive me for responding to a post with a post, but…. http://contemplativefitness.wordpress.com/2010/06/24/lust-for-cheez-its/

    I can so relate….

  2. I am not a figure competitor but I can relate because as a marathoner in training who eats paleo I get quetioned quite a bit 😉 some of the most annoying are:
    Do you ever get bored on a long run?
    Are you really going to run 26 miles?
    Why don’t you eat pasta?
    Good post

    • I think you should come up with sassy answers for them too.
      “Bored? Totally. I put my legs on autopilot and take a nap, of course.”
      “Nope. I sign up for the race, start with everyone else, drop off at a coffee shop for a couple hours, call a cab, get dropped off a few miles from the finish line, and then finish middle of the pack. Its the perfect solution.”
      “That’s what she said.”

  3. Tiffany Miller says:

    Too funny! The question that annoys me the most is, you aren’t going to get too big are you?! Makes me so mad because I’ve been busting my ass just to get as big as I am, if it only it were that easy.

    • Oh I forgot about that question! I HATE that one too. Seriously? I have busted my arse to build these muscles….like KILLED myself. I will NOT become Arnold….its physiologically impossible, but thanks for the vote of confidence?

  4. So funny…..and true!!! 🙂

    T.

  5. OMG You had me laughing so hard on this!
    tooooo funny
    the question I detest “since you don’t eat meat where do you get your protein from”
    aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
    in fact someone tweeted that to me other day after I said my breakfast was coachs oats, almond milk and fruit…they came back with “where’s the protein” and I resisted responding, I just couldn’t
    I get sooo tired of it…

    • Oh man, I can’t even imagine the amount of questions that you get! I kind of want to write a ‘FAQs’ booklet for myself that I carry around and hand to people when they start being ridiculous. “Here. Read this first. If you have more questions, let me know.” lol! 😀

  6. mmmmm pickles. Life’s little salty nugget of OK-for-diet + crunch.
    I got frustrated a few weeks ago when, after a particularly KILLER training session, my pool teammate asked me “can’t you just have one halloween candy?” and handed me her LAST coffee crisp mini-bar. I said “sure!” grabbed it from her hands and stomped on it on the floor. When she stared, open-mouthed, at me, I said “you didn’t ask if i could EAT it…….”

    I also get frustrated, like Tara, at people questioning my meal content. “So….is that balanced then?” ARRRRRGGHHHH

    It’s all hard enough without the questions, people!!

  7. After being asked a zillion idiotic questions, I tend to get reeeeally defensive when somebody brings up my workouts or nutrition now …. I need to chill out! Ha ha. I don’t mind when people are truly just curious and want to LEARN, but I can’t STAND the guys at the gym who criticize what I’m doing…

    For example, I do very short rest periods between supersets, so I’m constantly moving. One caveman-like guy asked, “Uh, don’t you get tired? I need to rest between my sets… (as he sits idly for like 20 minutes chatting with other guys, wasting time).” YES, fool, of course this is tiring — but I’m here to WORK OUT, not for social hour! Move outta my way! Ha ha.

    Love the blog! Keep up the awesome posts 🙂

    • TOTALY! I really dislike the man questions, they drive me NUTS. Yes, I do know what I am doing, I have a fabulous coach, and NO I do not need you to be my coach. I feel like getting a shirt made that says, ‘I know what I am doing, go away!’ to wear to the gym….is that too abrasive? hah!

  8. SO true! I should print this out and hand it to everyone I meet!

  9. Can’t agree with you more on these questions! People get me so angry sometimes I just have to bite my tongue.

  10. LOVE this! I’ve learned to just take a deep breath and smile before I respond to any of those questions.

  11. i love when people tell you what they are eating when you sit down to eat your meal. i’m sorry did i ask? nope i didn’t. i think people feel that if they tell you what they are eating then they get a free hall pass to comment on your meal. grr some peoples kids lol
    ps this blog is the best ever! keep it coming!

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