No Complaining. No Whining. No Comparing.

I grew up in a family of three kids – two girls and one boy. My sister is the oldest and my brother is the youngest; which makes me the middle child. The most perfect and angelic child ever born.


Needless to say, my brother had it kind of rough growing up with two big sisters. We were all constantly doing crazy things and getting into trouble; but somehow my brother usually got the most heck.

He probably deserved it and undoubtably, we provoked him.

There were always excuses for the misbehavior.

  • “But she said it was ok…”
  • “But she did it first!”
  • “But she poked me.”
  • “But she did it too!!”

On and on it went until one day my mom had enough and made a very loud proclamation.

No. More BUT SHE!

Then we all burst into giggles and fell on the floor in hysterics.

To this day, whining, complaining, blaming, and pointing fingers is synonymous with ‘No more BUT SHE!‘ in my family.

There is way too much ‘But she!‘ in the world of competing. 

The person responsible for my health, results, and choices is me and only me.

We are each responsible for our own health, the choices we make, and how we manage food before AND after a comp. A ‘comp diet‘ can be a convenient scapegoat for a huge weight gain after a comp. I have heard time and time again about competitors that put on a lot of weight, as in 50-100 pounds, after a competition.

Eating ‘normal‘ is not an option if normal means unhealthy choices, overfeeding, bingeing, and not caring about what you eat day in and day out.

Not only should you work with a coach for prep, you should work with them after to regulate you to a new normal that is sustainable for you by ‘un-dieting‘ you or slowly backing you out of the program to a managable maintenance zone.

I work with a coach despite the amount of research and reading that I have done. It is his job to see me, understand my body, and work with me to ensure I stay healthy. I don’t like hearing about competitors that blame coaches for the choices that they make.

When we choose to push ourselves past our limitations and not share honestly with our coach how we are feeling just to hit a comp date, the responsibility lies squarely with us.

If you have questions about your diet or how you feel, you should ask your coach as that is the person with the expertise. Asking another coach isn’t helpful because they don’t have all the background and understand the nuances of your situation.

If your coach cannot tell you why, what the purpose is, what the plan is, or help you maintain and increase your health then it is time for a new coach.

No two competitors are the same.

There are people that can only handle 1,200 cals a day and others that can handle 6,000 cals a day due to different genetic makeup, muscle to fat ratio, base metabolic rate, and amount of energy expended in the day. Advice given to someone on an 1,200 cal program who is losing at a healthy rate from someone who is eating 6,000 to lose at the same rate wouldn’t be helpful and most likely, both would probably consider the other to be extreme.

Embrace being a science experiment, focus on health, and work with a reputable coach for more than a few months here and there. Competing is not easy and no one way is right for every single person.

  • If you are a cheetah, run faster than all the other land animals.
  • If you are an eagle, soar above the clouds.
  • If you are a beaver, build dams with abandon.

Somehow a beaver just can't pull this off...

There is nothing worse than hearing an eagle complain about losing a footrace to a cheetah or a beaver bemoan the fact that his tail doesn’t help him fly.

No complaining, no whining, and no comparing.

Just be you and be it fabulously.

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  1. Great post. I think so many people assume that works for one person will work for them. I’m one of those ‘lucky’ types who can handle less food than most, so people often accuse me of undereating even though you know that is not the case when you look at me 😉

  2. Great post!
    no complaining, no comparing and only personal accountability here–can’t blame anyone but myself for scarfing down almost full bag of granola and not going out for my run in the rain…my fault..nobody else’s

  3. Love it Donloree! I guess that is one thing that drew me to this arena of competitions – the fact that it really is something I can solely control. I previously elluded to being kind of “lost” in where I’m at with things. I’ll send you a message via f/b instead of bogging down your blog with my personal info!

    Keep writing though – I’ll be reading!

    • Jami – thanks for reading! Knowing that you are ‘lost’ is one of the best places to be. Look at all the people in the world that are lost and never recognize they are standing still at the crossroads. You are poised to make some changes and start going where you want. I love it.

  4. Love this. No EXCUSES. I really need to work on this one. No comparing? Hello… we ALL need to work on this one. I don’t know a soul who doesn’t wish they had this or with they had that.

    My kids always use the “I know but….” for everything. The line I use DAILY (multiple times) is “NO, I know buts… I don’t want to hear I know buts!”

  5. Awesome Donloree!! Have just started reading your blogs and am totally loving them, your so honest and tell it how it is THANK YOU!! I must admit im always comparing myself to others but its time for that to change it only brings you down, Kepp up the great work and I too will be reading 🙂

    • Oh I am so glad to have you on the reading bandwagon! YAY!!!

      Comparing is horrible and we all do it all the time. It is time for us to stop and learn how to celebrate each other and ourselves. I am right there with you. 🙂

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