The Path of Least Resistance

KISS me baby!

Yup, I like to Keep It Simple Stupid.

This is why my meals consist of things like chicken with a side of vegetables, I get my training splits and macro allowances from Joe’s fabulous team, and I don’t keep nut butter in the house.

There are some things in life that just need to be on autopilot.

Less thinking; more doing.

But then there are things in life that require more thinking and way less doing.

  • Comparing
  • Negative self talk
  • Nattering about other women’s flaws
  • Seeing the worst in others in an effort to see something, anything good in yourself
  • Fishing for compliments

I am not proud of the moments when I am happy to see a beautiful woman with cankles. First of all, no one wants cankles and secondly, is that the best I can do? Be happy that some other women has cankles?!

Without thinking about it, I was feeding tasty morsels of self loathing, entitlement, and hatred to a rapidly growing green-eyed monster.

envy

If only it was this cute!

Jealousy and envy had grown into a snarling monster that needed constant monitoring and taming.

Its just not socially acceptable to say the thoughts out loud that went through my head, but now and again something would slip out.

  • Her butt is HUGE compared to her waist…looks ridiculous.
  • I bet she takes ‘supplements’.
  • Well I could look like that if I didn’t have to work and was rich.
  • Must be nice to have FABULOUS genetics and not have to do any REAL work.
  • At least I don’t have cankles….just saying!

Then I would proceed to say something like, ‘Oh my gracious! I have no idea where that came from!!“, but I knew exactly where it came from. After all, I was slamming the door of my heart on the ravenous monster and blocking it with my whole body from escaping again.

Its not pretty when it escapes.

It is a lot of work to filter and reframe everything you say about other women.

At least I filtered with other people. When it came to me, there was no reframing or socially acceptable statements. I just let myself have it every single time I looked in the mirror.

  • Wow. Sexy muffin top babe.
  • You’re rather hefty….you know that, right?
  • Thank goodness its winter and you have to wear that epic down filled coat; it covers up most everything.
  • You’re fat.
  • You are never going to amount to anything. Look at you!

And it went on and on and on.

I felt like the world owed me something. What exactly I was owed, I have no idea, but I thought I deserved to look like Erin Stern and that once I did I would be happy.

Does looking like this ensure happiness?

If you have a snarling, green eyed monster in your heart happiness will never come because it eats every ounce of it before you can say ‘Yay!‘.

I was expending a ton of energy on feeding the monster and was getting less than stellar results in life.

Time for a change.

I decided to use my efforts to starve it to death.

I fed it things it refused to eat:

  • Kind words
  • Encouragement
  • Admiration of others
  • Seeing possibility
  • Belief

Hungry, green-eyed monsters growl very loudly before they die a slow and painful death.

Now I can simply say what is in my heart and not have to use my energy to reframe, change, or make it socially acceptable. This is the simplest way to live; straight from the heart.

Although, it still isn’t always socially acceptable.

Turning your friend around to admire her hammies will make things awkward, but it is the best kind of awkward on the planet.

And the best part?

Before you realize what happened, you start to see the best in yourself too.

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Comments

  1. This post really hit home with me. I am super judgemental of other people and it’s something I just can’t stop. It seems the fitter I become, the more critical I am of everyone else. Of course I never criticise anyone to their face but some of the things I think would be extremely hurtful.

    Like you I’m also very critical of myself. I’m never good enough and there’s always going to be changes I have to make. Even when I was at my leanest, I still wasn’t satisfied. I have gotten a LOT better than I was a few years ago, largely because now I’m striving to be muscular instead of skinny.

  2. You are not alone here! First, I do criticize in my head too, but I too am trying to stop that. I get angry with myself when I do it at the gym because first of all, at least they are there. AND, being that I go to the gym so God awful early, good for them for getting up early and being there too, they are trying! So I’ve really recognized it there. Also, now I have this habit of checking out muscles on women, is this just me? At the pool this weekend, I’d check everyone out, get a little jealous here and there, but then noticed that you can tell if someone works out or not. I’m not going to let myself get jealous of someone who is “skinny” or I can tell has never lifted a weight. Plus, who knows, maybe they have some kind of eating disorder? So, I usually talk myself down from that ugly green monster. The less confident I feel, the more everyone looks so much better! Sometimes I need to step back and stop myself of criticizing myself and others. Thank you, I’m happy to know I’m not alone! =)

    • Nope, you are not alone; not at all. Criticizing doesn’t help but it is SUCH an easy thing to fall into. I see you over there in NY and I see a fabulous, spunky, cute as heck woman that is chasing down her dreams and her life. Keep up the great work!

  3. Male opinion of a female perspective.

    On stage, or even at the end of the day, we may be judged by the shape of our abs, and how lean we are, but at the end of our lives, we won’t be. We will be judged, in my opinion, but the relations we built and cultured for the better. By our actions. By our giving. And by our focus beyond self. So when I think I look like crap in the mirror, ate poorly, or skipped a workout, I usually don’t have t look to far into my recent human contact before I forgive myself and remember my life means much more than how I look. My life also means much more to others than how I look — and that’s the tuff one to remember.

  4. life, it starts from the beginning, we were not born to be big or small, bad or good, its what happens in between that makes us who we are, i don’t believe people realize the impact we have on each other, when i look at people around me , people make comments on looks and appearance , how they act, i always go back to ” babies are not born with these “imperfections” as people like to comment , i believe that all people are good and deserve a chance , this is what gives them the positive attitude to be beautiful no matter how they look, looks are just a part of life, kindness and love are the most precious, we can all make a difference, that’s what it takes, my life also means so much more than how i look, most important is to be heathly….and always be strong no matter what life challenges may bring you. We only have one , make it a good one!!

  5. I love this change in attitude. I do the same thing….Personally, I think women are masters at self deprication and secretly we are all a “haters” even though we don’t want to be! And you’re right it DOES feed the ugly green eyed monster that needs to be quashed. I’m taking yet another page out of your book and change my outlook of myself and others around me.

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