Introducing Gertrude

Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer.

My closest enemy is my muffin top. Since age 13, there hasn’t been a day gone by that I didn’t notice it, curse it, or bemoan it’s existence. For most of my life I have struggled with my ‘rectangle‘ body shape and hated the reflection in the mirror. The very first place I look when I see myself in a mirror is right in the muffin top. I could be rocking the best shoes on the planet, have perfect hair, and feel like a million bucks and then *wham* MUFFIN TOP!

I’ve come to realize that my muffin top is part of me. It may not be the best part of me and I may completely dislike it, but it doesn’t change that it is in fact me.

Hating myself isn’t working. Its time for a new tactic.

I’m going to make friends with the muffin top. We’ve traveled through nearly 2 decades together and we aren’t even on speaking terms.

My first act of friendship was to give it a name and refer to it in a kind manner.

Gertrude. Yup, you heard me right, Gertrude.

When I thought about my muffin top the words that came to mind were stubborn, determined, and sensible. Then the name Gertrude popped into my head. I don’t think being stubborn, determined, or sensible are bad things; after all I am every single one of those things.

So Gertrude and I are on a journey to make peace. There is no benefit to hating yourself, your body, or who you are.

When I stand on the stage again, Gertrude will be there – no doubt about it! But this time there be better versions of both of us strutting our fabulousness in 5inch clear heels and a bedazzled bikini.

What do you hate about yourself that you need to make peace with?

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  1. I have a muffin top! I think I am going to name mine Erma. Did my first weight workout today. Felt good!!!

  2. My baby gut =( Amongst others!! I need to be more positive like you. You are so right, hating those things isn’t working, it doesn’t make it go away! Never thought of it that way.

  3. Ah, Donloree! I continue to love your attitude. 🙂

  4. So true! I made peace with my body, and my ego. They are both parts of me, and I do love me! I decided that they were both there because they love me, and although their idea of love may be a bit skewed (like our parents idea of what’s best for us sometimes) that didn’t mean they didn’t love me. So I decided to love them back. Like parents, I chose to listen to what they were trying to tell me. I’d thank them for their concern, and then make my own decisions anyway. Sometimes they actually did have something valuable to share, so I suppose i was a good thing that I decided to listen. 😉


  5. Tiffany Miller says

    My abdominal scar, his name is guy smiley and he’s really smarmy. He likes to make my muffin top protrude in a strange way. When I was a child the nurses at the hospital always told me that my scar made me unique because it looked like there was a smile on my belly, but from day one I didn’t buy it. However, I’ve decided over this last year to stop hiding guy smiley, because I’m tired of being embarrassed (I’m too old for this crap :D). Next October he’ll be bared to the world in rhinestones 😀

    • bikiniorbust says

      I can’t wait to see Guy Smiley out in all his bedazzled glory. 🙂 The one two punch of the two of you is going to take the world by storm!

  6. I decided to make peace with my body a while ago though some days are tough. I would love to have a flat lower tummy area but I think it’s protrusion has more to do with digestion then anything. It’s something I”m going to look into this year for sure. I like that you’ve named her Gertrude by the way. It’s the first step to making friends. xoxo

  7. oh wow…lovin your posts and your attitude about everything!
    what ive had to come to peace with….
    my j-lo booty and boy shaped hips….
    and the perfect “X” the stretch marks from my 1rst and 3rd baby left across my navel…

    OH and btw,my Oma(german for grandmother),her name was Gertrude…and she was one stubborn,tough lady!!!

  8. Mine is the Mummy Tummy as i like to call it. I am a very pear shaped/hour glass figured girl but the only place I hang on to weight is the little pouch in the front. IT drives me mental…

    No name for it…..working on that lol.

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