Excuses, excuses!

This past week I kept focussing on what I knew to be true despite the fact that I can’t compete on April 9 and still be healthy, but feelings of failure kept sweeping over me.

I stayed strong, went to the gym, and trained like a good Figure Competitor.

Then I just broke down…but in a very passive agressive way. I found myself buying more peanut butter at the grocery store…after all, doesn’t my husband need healthy peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch? Yes! And I need to be a good wife…YES…this makes perfect sense.

When I unloaded the groceries, I decided to be ‘proactive‘ and stir the natural peanut butter…just in case I needed to make an emergent sandwich for my husband. I like to be prepared.

I stirred and stirred and stirred and then stirred it some more. In all of history no other jar of peanut butter has been stirred as well as this one. Finally, I put it away in the fridge and then stood there with the door open.

A staring contest with the jar ensued.

I started to shut the door and then I wavered.

Ummm.....what should I do?!?!

All my hard work seemed to be for naught and in that moment I just gave in. I did not want to have the story of ‘I did everything I could and success just didn’t happen for me”. Apparently I wanted to have an excuse for what I decided was a failure. I wanted to have a reason to not be able to compete on April 9.

At that moment I needed to have an excuse.

So I grabbed the jar, a container of greek yogurt, coconut, and chocolate nibs and ate and ate and ate.

I have never felt so ill in my life.

There was no reason to write in the little blue journal to muse about why I was eating emotionally; I knew without a shadow of a doubt why. I was mad and I wanted a reason for having to put off my dream.

My stomach was hanging out about 2 feet past my pants when I finished. I only ate 500 mL of yogurt, half a jar or peanut butter, and a bit of coconut and chocolate nibs; but it was EPIC compared to what I had been eating before. OK, half a jar of peanut butter is epic for anyone!

This experience made me realize that we have excuses for everything we do in life. I am going to have excuses to be successful, not to be a failure even if it means I never get to eat peanut butter again!

What kind of excuses are you making?

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Comments

  1. ultra_matt says:

    My most recent excuse was that I deserved a *reward* for all my hard work, that I’d catch back up on Monday. It was worse on the holidays. I would believe that I’d burn all the fat back off in January. After doing this for decades, I really began to question the side effects of all that yo-yoing. In fact, just today I heard Allison Breen, on the JNL Podcast from 2/3, concerned about that and talking about the trap of believing that anyone even needs an “offseason.” They had some really good stuff to talk about, highly recommend that podcast: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jennifer-nicole-lee-show/id381005359

  2. My favourite excuse: one bad day won’t make a difference. Then it is fueled by the thought that “this is the last time”. Sigh. I swear it’s keeping things forbidden that make them so desirable. Wish there was a simple solution. Stay the course, girl. You’re human!!

  3. Amy Hammond says:

    My favorite excuse is: “I need more energy for my job and baby”… when I really had enough to start with 😛 I feel you on the peanut butter Donloree!

  4. I’ve got no excuse for my excuses. I’ve been told, get it out of your system and move on. Sometimes, we have to give in to get over it. Great blog, thank you.

    Kathy

  5. That sounds sooo familiar..GUILTY

  6. Rod Jones says:

    Thanks and I’m going with you on the making the excuses to succeed!!

  7. I 100% agree with Kathy! Sometimes you just have to get it out of your system and I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Splurge, pout, get upset, and move on. I have to do it sometimes too. Yes, maybe sometimes we go overboard but we are only human, right? Look how long you’ve been eating SO well, you deserve a bit of peanut butter and chocolate once in awhile! So don’t feel guilty, just remember the feeling you had afterward so next time you’re thinking of doing it maybe you won’t want to! LOVE YA!!!

  8. I think there must have been something in the air this past week or so, because you and I are 2 of the 9 people I have heard this same lament from. I binged on all things cream-cheesy and cheesy and sour creamish this weekend. It was like I was looking at myself from the outside and thinking “meh – it’s not that bad”. (sigh) How we can deceive ourselves. As I said to another one of your followers….it’s okay to stray off the path on occasion as long as you find the on-ramp again. I know you know this, but sometimes it helps to be told. 🙂
    PS — I read the other blog about the woman @ the party…..I used to be that woman and you’re right — it’s weird being on the other side of that.

  9. my excuse this weekend was that “I’ve been doing so well and Susan is going to change my diet tomorrow”….EEK!

  10. I proactively stir our peanut butter, I think that part is perfectly rational.

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