Blubbering; not the first choice, but the most effective

This morning started off at 5:00 am with me gathering a rather large sheaf of pages I printed off the internet and practicing a speech in my bathroom mirror. Staring blankly back at my reflection with the messiest samurai-esque hairdo on the planet and mascara residue I contemplated what to say to my doctor when she asked why I was in to see her.

My doctor is a very nice, sensible woman. She is always dressed in a smart suit with a crisp white lab coat. We have very different views on bodybuilding competitions and whether or not I am actually on steroids, which she pronounces, ‘steer-roids‘.

When I first went to see her about feeling like absolute death in August, she wanted me to stop all this ‘competition nonsense’ and tried to convince me to have babies. She truly cares about her patients which makes her a good doctor, but her methods are a tad interesting at times!

Since my diagnosis, I have spent a ton of time reading up oh Hashimoto’s, heard from many people that I respect who have it and lived through years of misdiagnosis, and saw a very knowledgable Naturopath that has given his career to helping people with thyroid disorders; I was prepared!

At 5:00 am my speech started out something like this:

“Ahem. *slight throat clearing* Well you are probably wondering why I am back here so soon. I really appreciate that you care so much about your patients. I have spent a lot of time reading up on Hashimoto’s and was wondering if we could discuss my treatment options. I have a few print outs from some well respected medical journals and was wondering if we could go through them together…”

10:30 found me waiting impatiently for my appointment in her waiting room. Feelings of panic and nausea threatened to overwhelm me. 45 minutes later I was still waiting and the nervousness kept growing. I felt as panicked as I did in grade 4 when I changed schools and didn’t know a soul; it was the desperate feeling of wanting to be known and understood but not knowing how to express myself.

Finally when my deodorant threatened to stop working, I went and harassed the less than pleasant 63 year old receptionist. I used all my charm tactics and found out that I was next.

Finally I got in to see her and started my speech.

“Ahem. So…Umm…well…as you know I have Hashimoto’s.”

This was as far as I got before I got interrupted. She disagreed on whether or not I actually have it and what the treatment should be. She offered to send me to a specialist and take it from there.

It was at this point that I realized my 5:00 am plan was not working and I lost it. The sheaf of documents and professional approach got thrown out the window. Tears the size of thunderstorm raindrops started to pour out of my eyes and I began to sob. I incoherently blathered on about feeling horrible, not being able to do anything, losing my hair, and many , many other things. Then I waved a page at her about the medication that I wanted.

She left the room with the document to look something up. She came back with a 3,000 page book on diseases so that we could read up on Hashimoto’s together. This did not make me feel hopeful about getting the much needed medication. I just continued to have gaspy sobs and prayed that somehow she would understand.

Her eyes just kept getting bigger the more I blubbered; but I couldn’t help it. Desperation for her to understand filled my whole being.

She finally agreed to prescribe the medication and follow it up with tests and the specialist appointment.

All the remaining energy drained out of the bottom of my feet and gratitude filled my heart.

Who knew such a small piece of paper could hold so much hope?

I started taking the medication as soon as I got home. I feel happier and somewhat more energetic already…not sure if it’s the medication or the placebo effect, but whatever it is I will take it!

Today is day one of a healthier me and a step closer to being competitive on April 9th! It’s go time!

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  1. I’m glad you got some answers, and I really hope the meds make you feel better again! Keep your hopes up, girl! I admire your strength!

  2. Cindy Smith says

    You go, Donloree! So happy to hear you have a doctor that wants to research together with you. Excited to see how the meds work for you. You are a superstar for being as commited as you have been with all this underlying stuff that’s been going on. Here’s to healing!

  3. Amy Hammond says

    I am so happy for you Donloree! Hope is nutrition for our soul, so to be void of it is like starving an inherent part of our being. Enjoy and be healthy! 😉

  4. If I were in your situation I would have done the same. I’m happy you got what you went in for and hopefully you will see positive results right away!

  5. “Hope is like nutrition for our soul” – love that, Amy.

    So glad you fought for what you need, and won. Let the recovery and energy-build begin. Keep taking care of you!

  6. Justin Dickau says

    This is such great news Donloree. I can’t wait to hear how the medication works out!

  7. Did she prescribe Synthroid (a synthetic T-4 hormone) or Armour Thyroid (a natural T-4 & T-3 medication)? I have had hypothyroidism since 1997 after having radiation treatments for lung cancer. I found that Synthroid alone did not relieve my symptoms(being way too cold, dry skin, constipation, etc.) and after 5 years switched to Armour. What a difference! Since the Armour shortage a few years ago I take a combination of Synthroid and Cytomel(a synthetic T-3) and find it relieves most of my symptoms. If your TSH is high (indicationg low thyroid hormone) you should not have to beg for meds. Sorry to ramble on but I know how miserable having your thyroid out of whack is and hope you do not have to wait as long as I did to figure out your optimum dosage.

    • I asked for Armour, but since she didn’t know about the medication she wouldn’t prescribe it. I am currently on Synthroid and Cytomel; just started Cytomel today and I felt like my brain started to work. AND my extremities weren’t blue and frozen. It is rather amazing. I just need to wait for my specialist appointment now and am aiming to get on Armour and keep working with the Naturopath. Unfortunately my doctor doesn’t know much about the thyroid and we had to read up on it together…so I am just glad to have the Cytomel and keep on the path towards health! Sounds like you’ve had QUITE the journey!

      • Armour had some FDA issues for a while and became impossible to get so it might be better to take the synthetics. Glad your Doc was open to prescribing both T-3 & T-4.

  8. Heather Strecker says

    I too am so glad to hear about this. I really hope it works and that you can feel better. I have been very worried about you.

  9. Yay! I’m so glad you got the medication! (I usually cry too when I’m trying to be all strong). I can’t wait to hear how this goes.

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