Biceps Are The New Cleavage

Figure competitors strive to be as strong and lean as possible. Β For an apple shaped woman such as myself, this means your womanly curves are reduced to how much muffin top you have left. My profile could easily be confused for that of a 14 year old boy.

But I don’t care because I have muscles, and apparently distracting ones at that.

I am cold all of the time which results in long sleeves, pashminas, wraps, layers, and very little skin showing most days, especially in the -20 weather! Oddly enough I wore a short sleeved shirt to one of my client’s offices with a wrap a few days ago. I found myself in the stuffiest boardroom on the planet and ended up taking off the wrap so I didn’t overheat.

One of the men around the table kept fidgeting and looking to my right while I talked. Very strange behaviour, but I don’t have time for such things while chairing a meeting; so I just kept the conversation going.

Suddenly he burst into the conversation.

Fidgety Man – “Ok, guys! Have you seen her arms? I mean for real?! They are HUGE!”

DL – “Umm…uhh….”

FM – “I can’t believe those guns! You have to stop flexing, they are SO distracting!”

DL – “Ok..I will try to refrain from flexing them…from being so distracting…”

FM – “Next meeting I am wearing a tank top and we are going to compare our arms! Wow. I mean WOW.”

DL – “How about no? No arm comparing…I will wear long sleeves from now on so we can keep the meetings on track and not be distracted by my arms. Ok?”

FM – “Are they real?”

DL – “Yes…my arms are real…and apparently distracting, really distracting. Can we get back to the agenda please?”

It was definitely the most awkward event of 2011 so far, but possibly the most flattering.

I may not have a chest left, but apparently I can still turn heads!

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Comments

  1. I absolutely LOVE getting compliments on my guns πŸ™‚ Of course…it’s never happened in a meeting but it did happen in a packed elevator…lol!!

    T.

  2. That is toooooo funny!

  3. Hilarious!

  4. Love my shoulders!!! That is awesome!

  5. Cindy Smith says:

    Are they “real”? That’s hilarious! It’s almost like he thought you were a Barbie and that you could remove your arms and put on a new set….

  6. LOVE this! Way to be distracting by having biceps! πŸ˜€

  7. HAHAHAHA That is awkward and FABULOUS for sure!!! Love it!!!

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