Periwinkle? Navy? Cerulean?

I am not exactly sure what shade it is, but it is definitely blue…as am I.

For 11 months I lived with a very distinct purpose that was fulfilled on a very specific day – October 16, 2010. This was the day I did the scariest and most exhilarating thing so far in life, competing in a Figure Competition. I went to the gym twice a day every day, ate cleaner than womanly possible, and  did anything and everything I could to ensure success. I lived with a laser beam focus because where I was aiming was so high that there was no room for error.

I am so proud of myself for what I accomplished, but suddenly I find myself feeling lost with a lonely disquiet in my heart.

My dream grew up, sprouted wings, and flew away. It was glorious to watch it go, but now I need a new dream to be my companion, a new goal that calls me to live larger than myself.

The journey to the stage was about changing the inside as much as the outside. Inside I have become a new woman, a much stronger woman. I will train hard, kick some butt with the Bikini Or Bust Challenge, and remember that winning starts in my mind.

Anyone else struggle with feeling blue after a competition?

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  1. Yes, I feel the same way once something big is accomplished. It’s that empty lost feeling…..hang in there you’ll find something to focus on and work towards soon enough!

  2. I did feel like that after I did the ironman, i trained for a year and had no clue what to do or think about after!
    You are not alone ! 🙂

  3. TOTALLY normal! I felt the same way. What helped me was researching and finding the next show I want to do. That way I felt like I now have a new goal to work towards, which I need! Hope that helps, but just remember, you are not alone and it’s so normal to feel lost right now! Hang in there babe!

    • Thanks! This is why I started the Bikini Or Bust Challenge, need something to keep working towards and to have some accountability. Now I just have to glue my arse to the wagon and be content! 😀

  4. That’s a perfectly normal response. I’ve felt the same way after several drama productions that I’ve been involved in. You throw yourself totally into something & then when it’s over & the excitement wears off, you feel kind of empty for awhile. You’ll bounce back though.

    I don’t think I could ever enter a body building competition (my stomach is badly scarred from several surgeries so a bikini is pretty much out for me!) but your bikini or bust challenge inspires me & I’ll be following your blog while I continue to work on my own fitness level. Still hoping to see to see the muffin top shrink!

  5. I celebrated my one year anniversary with a fun run … fun and run doesnt really go together in my vocab .. but I did have a cupcake at the finish line. 😉

  6. Kathy Sperling says

    My first triathlon season, after my final race, same feelings exactly…HATE that feeling! I’ve found that I need some type of ‘downtime’ that doesn’t involve crashing and burning, or trying to keep the pace going, but rejuvenates instead. Specifics..? Anything from getting into a good author and drinking tea, to getting out with friends more (the focus tends to reduce that significantly!)
    Just my thoughts – congratulations on an amazing accomplishment!

    By the way, I’d love to hear if you have any faith-based inspiration on your experiences these past few months.


  1. […] that are committed to health, wellness, and supporting each other. After I wrote the post about feeling bluer than blue, a flood of emails and messages came my way. Support, help, coffee, and listening ears were all in […]

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