Swinging Pendulum

Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you that I can be a eensy, weensy extreme at times. Just a little bit. My world tends to be black or white, yes or no, all or nothing.

Knowing this, it should not come as a surprise that I swing from being ecstatic to scared out of my freaking mind several times throughout the day when I think about the looming competition.  It is a mental discipline to stay positive and sure; not over the moon or scared of my own shadow.

I have no idea what to expect once I get my suit from Las Vegas, glue it to my body, pass my lie detector test, get my 3 layers of spray tan applied, vaseline my teeth, and walk out on stage in my 5 inch clear heels and fake eye lashes.

I could be the woman that everyone whispers about behind their hands, wondering what the world I am doing on stage OR I could be the dark horse that comes from behind with her muffin top in tow and takes first place.  There is no way of knowing what will happen…which frustrates this black and white figure competitor to no end!

October 16th can’t come fast enough for me in some ways, and in others I could wait for an eternity for it to arrive.

The pendulum of emotions just keeps swinging…good thing I have my black coffee, creatine, and egg whites to keep me company!

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  1. I say, stop thinking so much already. You have done your best and will continue to do so, so just go out there and be your amazing self. Besides, you are doing this for you, not for them, so who cares what they think. (read all this with a NY accent!)

  2. haha Aunt Jeanette I totally could hear you saying that with a new york accent! love it!
    DL- I agree with your mom… she is so wise. You need to stay focussed on the positives and the rest will fall in place. Look how far you’ve come my dear! you will be fantastic! Love you!

  3. AH! You’re making ME freak out! haha! I am sure it’s hard to stop thinking about it, but the girls are right…you need to focus your attention away from the doom and unknown and just enjoy these last days before the comp!

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