Maybe Not A Gold Medal, But A Gold Star?

In November 2009, I decided in my heart and committed to myself that I would compete in the INBF Bodybuilding show on October 16, 2010.  Then copious amount of hours went into working out, learning about food, and getting healthy.

In my heart of hearts I want to win the competition, not just compete.  I want to clean those other women’s clocks and put them to shame, as only a fantastic bodybuilder could do.  I want to stand out as the best of the best and be recognized for the extreme amount of discipline and determination I have displayed for almost a year now.

BUT when I look in the mirror, I realize that this is most likely not going to happen. There is the possibility that I may be the most un-lean of the bunch.  I may be the woman that people whisper about behind their hands saying things like, “Um…what in the world is she doing up there?  Why didn’t anyone tell her she’s a tad chubby to compete?!  Where are her friends?!

About a month ago, this thought nearly put me over the edge and into the brink of despair.  Not anymore.  I am a woman that has given 100% of her efforts and is going to follow through on her commitments, even the commitments made to herself.  I don’t have to win, I just have to keep giving 100% and then on October the 16th I will have a starting point for what one woman who grew up reading books and eating copious amounts of home baked can do.

I could decide not to do this show and work towards another, but I won’t let myself off that easily! The only person standing in my way is me.  I am going to get over myself,  jump off the cliff and see what happens.  After all, it’s Bikini Or Bust and there’s no way I am going to let myself bust!

So I may not get a gold medal on October 16th, but I definitely get a gold star!

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  1. Krissy Jake-Smith says

    Seriously. You rock. I mean it.

    I can’t begin to tell you how this journey of yours is impacting me. I want to know everything! I so desperately want to start working toward this but holy stink I’m scared! I know the committment that’s involved and dedication and self control you’ve required to get to today. I’m so glad these realizations are dawning on you now. You’re amazing girl.

  2. I agree with Krissy! You getting up there is a WIN girl – look at how many people even say they have done that – and along the way you’ve inspired others! Lots of people dont have the determination to do what you’re about to do!! GO GET EM!

  3. You ROCK! You are such and inspiration to me! Love your blog! Keep it up!

  4. Once you get the first show under your belt, it’s not as scary (although there are always moments of self-doubt. Don’t think those ever go away). I love your positive attitude and approach to this show. Just do it! 🙂

  5. I love your attitude!! You continue to inspire me!! I am so glad I found your blog – thank you for always sharing so honestly on here!! And the very fact that you’ve had self-doubts and are STILL going through with the show makes you my role model!!! YOU ROCK!! Keep chuggin girl!!

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