Fake Tan Here I Come!

I am VERY white.  I used to try to get a tan in the summertime, but ended up looking like a tomato.  And just so you know, having still evident tan lines from your tank top burn showing at your office Christmas party is less than desirable.

To avoid this embarrassment, I embraced my Snow White-ness and wear sunscreen and stay quite pale all year long.

On October 16 I need a tan to show off my muscles while I pose with the other Figure Competitors. Bronze, toasty brown, and cafe mocha are words that describe the color I need to be; currently I could be described as ecru, mother of pearl, or fresh linen.

Once again, I am about to do something I never thought I would ever do in my life; get a fake tan, and an epic one at that. Apparently you, ‘can’t be too dark‘ and ‘when you think you’re dark enough, apply another coat‘.

Oh boy.

I can go with Pro Tan which requires a few days of application, a foam paint roller, and a very good friend to help you apply it. If I go this route, I will be tan for weeks following the competition and then appear as though I have leprosy as it wears off.  BUT it won’t run if I am sweating on stage and I already start to sweat bullets just thinking about the competition.

Jan Tana is another option, which can be done on the day of the competition.  Apparently there is a 3 step process that ends with a glaze for your whole body. I associate glaze with donuts.  I am not sure if I want to put myelf in the same category as donuts…

Or I could merely oil myself and then apply a few coats of Dream Tan.  This seems the most straight forward, but it seems almost too simple.  I am wary of simple solutions to things.  In my experience if it seems too good to be true, it is!

So what’s a woman to do?


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  1. Hmm, Jan Tana sounds like the best option to me, even if they use the word “glaze”. Will you stress out more leaving it until the last minute tho? Do many of the other competitors do that one?

    The leprosy thing is the worst (I experienced it once) but I hear can be cured with body hair bleach product?

  2. Kathy Harris says

    My trainer here in CGY sends his girl & guy competitors to get a spray tan from California Tan. I tried it out and was amazed! The owner new exactly what to do as a lot of his clients are fitness competitors.
    Good luck.

  3. Dream Tan isn’t allowed at quite a few US competitions now because of how messy it is. It stains venues, so many promoters don’t allow it. It’s still huge in Europe, though.

    I’ve used Pro Tan before, and it has a more orangey color. It’s alcohol-based, so it stains your skin. It usually requires quite a few coats, but the color turns out nice. It can also be used as a base with Jan Tana over it. When you shower Pro Tan off, it leaves a kind of orange color that lasts about a week before it starts to wear off unevenly.

    I’m a huge fan of Jan Tana. I’ve gotten my best color using those products. It’s not alcohol-based, so if water touches your skin after it’s applied, it’ll run. And it’s a pain in the butt to fix. So once you’re painted, don’t touch anything! It dries with cold air; warm air will make it run. Jan Tana also needs to be applied the day before the show, or you won’t get dark enough and it won’t be dried and will get all over everything and look messed up on stage. When you shower it off after the show, your skin will have a natural tan look that lasts for about 5 days before it starts to wear off unevenly.

    Do more research about each product and then make your informed decision. If you need to order products, though, do it SOON to make sure you receive them the week of your show.

    I highly recommend spray tanning if it’s available at your show. That’s the easiest, unmessiest, and even application of tan. Most people get 2-3 coats of spray tan.

    Best of luck! 🙂

    • Thanks Kari! Apparently there is spray tanning at the show!!! This makes my life WAY easier. I just emailed the spray tanning woman to book a time and let her know that I will need several coats as per your advice.
      Do you oil after the tan, or just let the tan stand on its own? Thank you for all the help!


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