When my left eye finally cracked open, I saw three blurry numbers glaring back at me.

5:27

Apparently it was time to get up. In a moment of weakness, I had promised a girlfriend that I would meet her at the YMCA at 6:30 to go for an early morning run.

The only part of my body that was able to move was my left arm as it slapped the snooze button with authority.

Eight seconds later I was back into a solid REM cycle.

5:36

The loud voice of my favorite radio personality, Garner Andrews, was suddenly blaring in my ear. In that moment he was no longer my favorite.

I dragged my lazy self out of bed and finally opened both eyes. It wouldn’t do to be late for my early morning run. After all, today was my girlfriend’s first day back from a seven week absence due to injury.

As we ran in the cool -12 Celsius weather we caught up on each other’s lives. We shared the joys, trials, and funny moments since we had last seen each other.

Due to her injury, she was much slower than her usual pace; but it didn’t bother me at all. There have been many times when I was the slower one. The important thing was that we were out running.

You can’t do life alone; it is meant to be run together.

Who do you run the path of life with? Who makes sure you get your lazy self out of bed in the morning? Who are you sharing your life with, no matter what the pace?

When you do, you will find yourself doing things you never thought possible.

The mountains are absolutely gorgeous this time of year, so I was easily convinced to go for a run in them with my friends despite their superior fitness.

Gorgeous town nestled in the foothills.

Halfway through the run, they noticed I was lagging behind.  They slowed down to let me huff and puff my way to them.  At that point I realized, despite the gorgeous view, I had to let them go on without me.

I bravely accepted the key for the condo and headed back the way I came.  My girlfriend let me know the condo was on 6^th and 3^rd.  Ave, Street, Boulevard?  Heck as if I knew or asked for that matter!  So I just kept running…wondering when I needed to turn.

Unfortunately for me, I did not pay attention to the path we took.  I had been enjoying the mountains and river whenever I was able to take full breath in.  After about 20 minutes on the journey back, I found myself on a lonely path with some strange men on it.  My heart jumped into my throat.

To avoid being raped and pillaged while running without a phone, ID, or any sort of defense mechanism; I quickly pulled a switchback.

Now completely lost, the beauty of the mountains mocked me as I ran about wondering where in heavens name I was.  A peppy looking young blonde wandered onto the path, so I asked her for directions.

DL – Hello.  Can you tell me how to get to 6^th and 3^rd?
Peppy Looking Young Blonde – Ummm…no.  I have lived here my whole life, but have no idea where that is.  Is that by the park?
DL – Not too sure.  I am totally lost and just need to get back to the condo before my girlfriends arrive back.  I have the key.
PLYB – I can’t help you.  I don’t know any of the street numbers.

Ok, Canmore is a very small mountain town.  How is it possible that a life long resident wouldn’t know the street numbers of where she lives?

Somewhat frantic at this point, I ran through the trees and into the town only to scare a nice looking couple.  I can only imagine that the frazzled, sweaty, lost DL isn’t a woman you want to encounter on a romantic walk.  They also lived in the town but had no concept of addresses, only landmarks.

I finally used my own navigating skills to get back to the condo using a new route, without the help of any mountain-esque people.  As I turned the corner after my jaunt through most of the town, I saw my girlfriends about 800 meters ahead of me heading down the home stretch to the condo.

Out of breath, tired, and embarrassed, I started to close the gap while they cooled down.  We arrived at nearly the same time.  I was completely worn out while they looked energized and happy.

All I could do was blame the happy, directionally challenged people of the mountains for my tour of the town on my way back to the condo while gasping for air.

Now I know; if you can’t keep up…maybe you shouldn’t go in the first place.  No matter how fantastic the view is!

In Edmonton there is a wonderful part of the city called Whyte Avenue. Whyte Ave is full of unique shops, interesting homes and great one-of-a-kind places to eat – it’s the epitome of urban living. One winter evening I met a bunch of girls at one of the coffee shops on Whyte to talk about life, marriage and why all women intrinsically need chocolate every day of their life…you know, the important things in life! My husband, Jon, was a student at that time and dropped me off at the coffee shop and went on to Chapters to do some studying while I contemplated the great mysteries of womanity* with my girlfriends. I felt inspired and uplifted as I walked through the snow towards Chapters to find my husband – I felt as though the world was at my fingertips and any problem was not too great for me to conquer! The urban setting, gentling falling snow and people out shopping were extremely picturesque and I just felt happy all over.

I arrived at Chapters and saw my husband in his red winter coat and trendy haircut through the large picture windows. He was leafing through the magazine section, and love for him filled my heart and overflowed onto the sidewalk – I was puddling everywhere. I decided that it would be romantic for me to sneak up and surprise him with a cute little ‘boo!’. So I stealthily snuck into the store, slipping behind magazine racks and other customers. I was so happy that small giggles were escaping from me and people were starting to look my way to see what was so funny. I resolved to control my giddiness and purposely snuck up close to Jon, turned to scare him, only to realize that it wasn’t my husband! Thank goodness I realized that before I scared some strange man to death! My giddiness quickly died and embarrassment known only to me, filled my cheeks and painted them a bright red. I quickly tried to appear as though there was some magazine right in front of my husband’s twin that I desperately needed to read. I think it was a Harley Davidson magazine…at that point, it was the most interesting thing I had ever seen in my whole life and I was officially a biker chick as of that moment!

After desperately trying to appear normal, I calmly replaced the magazine and walked to find my husband. The amount of relief that filled me after not making a fool out of myself was indescribable. I found Jon upstairs in the finance section reading some horrifically boring book about RRSPs or something equally as mind numbing to me. I decided to not mention the near deathly embarrassing event to my husband, there was no need for him to know how ridiculous I am. Some days, I enjoy keeping up the appearance of being normal and fitting into society.

I finally peeled him away from the very dry finance section after mumbling a few “uh huh…”, “sounds intriguing” and “mmm…” types of things to his ecstatic musings on the current financial book in hand. We walked hand in hand to the escalator and smiled…as romantic as this seems, I was only holding his hand so that there wouldn’t be a quick retreat back to the finance section!

Upon our arrival downstairs, we were immediately distracted by the discount books – Jon and I quickly went our separate ways. I browsed each book, got new ideas that I could do at home without purchasing another $4.97 book and felt inspired. I looked up and didn’t see my husband anywhere in sight. I sighed, realizing that the pull of the finance section must have gotten to him. I ran upstairs to peel him away once again, but he was nowhere in sight. I glanced over the railing and saw him in the magazine section. Sighing at my misunderstanding of my husband, I ran downstairs to see if he was ready to go home.

Seeing him reading the magazines, the earlier giddiness I felt in my heart overwhelmed me and I decided to do something completely silly. Jon is an athlete, and I have gone to many of his ball hockey games. When someone scores a goal or does something good they give each other a slap on the bum. All the men seem to really enjoy this…it must be some sort of male bonding ritual. Anyway, I personally had never given a slap on the bum to someone else and decided that today was the day. After all, he seemed to really like it in hockey, so why not at Chapters? I felt somewhat nervous to put my plan into action, but my giddiness overwhelmed me, so I went ahead full steam. I slid up beside Jon, looking straight ahead so not to burst into hysterical giggles, reached out, grabbed his bum and asked, “Want to go home?” I looked at him to see his answer, only to find that I had inadvertently grabbed the strange, looks-like-Jon-but-not-Jon, man’s bum. He was shocked and backed away quickly and answered fearfully, “Uh…not with you!” The poor man’s wife was looking at me with a shocked and somewhat angry expression. I turned away in complete humiliation to see my Jon bent over with hysteria, laughing on the other side of me. Not only did I grab some other man’s bum and proposition him – I did it in front of my husband!

Terror and shame overtook my person. I was so embarrassed that I was unable to talk in a normal voice. I started to scream my rationalization for physically assaulting some strange man in Chapters. “OH MY GRACIOUS!! I AM SO SORRY!!! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MY HUSBAND! SEE??? HE’S RIGHT THERE, YOU HAVE THE SAME COAT AND HAIR – LOOK!! OH MY, OH MY!!” I frantically looked around for escape, only to notice that the whole store had become strangely silent and everyone was staring at me. Before I knew what was happening, I was sprinting out of the store and running as quickly as womanly possible into the harsh -20 degree winter, only to realize I had no idea where the car was! But I couldn’t stop running, the fear and shame of the situation was chasing me down the street…as was my husband! We were both gasping for breath – him due to the uncontrollable laughter and me due to being out of shape.

At this point, I think that God was laughing even harder than Jon. He must have known that a great part was coming up in my life, popped some popcorn and invited some friends over for the comedy viewing that Thursday evening. Life is meant to be enjoyed and to be lived with full gusto. How often do we fail to laugh at ourselves and enjoy the ridiculous chaos that happens to us? Sometimes it’s all I can do to thank God for my funniness and silliness, otherwise life would be too dull to keep going!

*Womanity – The complexities of the woman condition, which increases 10 fold by families, bad jobs and trying to communicate with men.