I have two large drawers in my kitchen that are completely devoted to Tupperware and Tupperware lids.  There are also some distant cousins that live in these drawers that hail from the Ziploc family line.

One drawer is for lids, the other for bottoms.

There may only be 3 or 4 complete pairs on any given day; and that’s a VERY GOOD Tupperware day at my house.

It is a test of mental agility to wake up in the morning and complete the ‘do any of these lids and bottoms go together?’ skill test while still bleary eyed and in a semi-conscious state.  Eating a well rounded breakfast, getting dressed for work, and brushing your teeth are all requirements you should complete prior to finding a Tupperware container to hold your lunch.

Tip: DO NOT force a lid on even if you think it SHOULD go on.  This can result in minestrone soup down the front of your suit and all over the kitchen which will make you very grumpy AND late for work.

Is there an age-old feud between the lids and the bottoms that I just don’t know about?  That despite their interlocking abilities, they HATE each other?

This seems to be the only rational explanation to why lids and bottoms never stay together.

Ever single day I think about throwing away all the pieces that don’t match up, but I can’t risk it.  What if all of the sudden the missing lids make their way back home only to find that their mate has been tossed into the dumpster the day before?

I’m a busy woman.  I don’t have time to rummage through the dumpster to retrieve the discarded mates.  Until there is a better solution, I will have two kitchen drawers clogged up with useless pieces of plastic that cause me endless frustration.

Has anyone overcome the Tupperware feud? If so, HOW?!

It’s socially unacceptable to be honest and say something like: “You know…I just don’t really like you. I don’t think we are going to be friends.”

In the effort to rid myself of ‘Happy Arms’ this year I have started to eat only primal foods. This means I eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, meat, eggs, and small amounts of dark chocolate.

During this endeavor I have met a vegetable that drives me crazy and I just can’t figure out what it is.

Yams. I hate them.

HUGE yams lurking in my kitchen

White potatoes are supposedly bad for you because they turn into sugar as soon as you eat them. So I have turned to yams for a potato alternative. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the yam is the relative that everyone is ashamed of and is only invited to Christmas dinner because everyone feels sorry for them.

They masquerade as a potato, but are so sweet that they cause you to gag.

So I have decided to be honest with all the yams out there. “You know…I just don’t really like you. I don’t think we are going to be friends.”

I have put all the yams in my house where they belong.

Out with the trash!

Primal eating is officially yam-free at my house.

Do you have a yam in your life that you need to be honest with?

They are horrible.

1. Skiing. Strapping boards to your feet, climbing thousands of feet up a steep part of a mountain, and then sliding down while trying not to die is a bad idea. Perhaps it’s because I am not sports inclined, but getting frostbite while contemplating your life with only two small poles to keep you from death is not my idea of fun.
2. White water kayaking. When you find yourself hanging upside down in the water while strapped into a small plastic boat heading straight into the rapids, you will understand. Can anyone say ‘air’?
3. Tole Painting. People look so serene and happy painting flowers, birds, and other kitschy things on wooden objects. In reality it’s a practice in learning how not to swear while doing a genteel lady’s craft. The art isn’t about painting at all, it’s actually appearing to be kind and gentle all while fighting the intense desire to harm someone.
4. Running marathons. The prestige associated with marathon runners is huge; everyone seems to revere a person that can run 26 miles straight. Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely impressive but who wants to spend 3 hours a day running around instead of drinking lattes and catching up with friends? All so that you can pay money to run in a race and get a t-shirt. Something isn’t adding up for me.
5. Martha Stewart recipes. Martha is a horrible, vindictive woman that is not on the everyday woman’s team. She creates fabulous magazines with beautiful pictures of food that seem attainable. What she fails to tell you is each recipe requires at least one ingredient that can’t be sourced unless you have black market connections and at the end of your 3 hour meticulous baking extravaganza you will only have 24 odd looking cookies to show for all your hard work.
6. Canning. Take at least one whole day of your life, cut vegetables or fruit for 6 hours, shove them into jars, and then cook them in a huge vat on your stove for hours on end. After 12 hours, your house is hotter than a sauna and you’ve used up all your energy for the week. The only reason to can anything is if you don’t have a grocery store within 200 kms of your house.
7. Pedicures. I love shoes and am a known shoe-aholic. I need those calluses to be able to wear all my shoes and don’t want to pay someone money to touch my feet for an hour and make all my shoes painful to wear. It’s just a bad idea.
8. Swimsuit shopping. Whenever a girl plans a trip to a tropical place, a new swimsuit is required. It seems like fun to go get a cute new suit for your trip until you are standing underneath florescent lights with all your cottage cheese, droopiness, and muffin top hanging out for the world to see. All of the sudden it is clear why some women opt for muumuus instead of bikinis.
9. Riding the teacups. Going to the fair is always fun and nostalgic, and at times the nostalgia can get you into trouble. You find yourself thinking that riding the childhood rides is a good idea. Halfway into the teacup ride while trying to hold down your chili dog and caramel apple you remember why the dizzying ride is only good for people under the age of 12.
10. Gardening. It seems romantic to till the earth, plant seeds, and watch the fruits of your labor grow. After fighting weeds, rocks, drought, and bugs for 8 weeks all you have to show for your labor of love are 8 tomatoes, 4 zucchinis, and 7 ears of sad looking corn. The lettuce comes in right away, but is out of season by the time your meager amount of tomatoes and zucchini are ready to be eaten. Since you have to go to the grocery store anyways for veggies for the lettuce, why not skip the stress of the garden and leave the veggie growing to the professionals?

If you are thinking about attempting any of these things, I suggest you don’t.

What is on your list of things that look fun but aren’t?

Then I ate lunch.

Not a big lunch mind you; merely some Knorr soup and a handful of crackers.

Now I have bloatation.  I don’t know if bloatation was actually a word before this, but as of this moment it’s a real word according to me.

This word can be found in the Dictionaryloree.

Bloatation <bah-low-tay-shun>. Noun.  The result of eating too much food in one sitting.

Suddenly it feels as though my clothes don’t fit and I need an epic nap.  Being the professional woman I am; I will continue on working and stay alert despite the bloatation.

Anyone else having random bloatation issues out there?