I disagree.

We are the most gullible people in the world.

Today the high temperature is -30 Celsius. Since when is a high a negative number? This would be similar to a high jumper bragging about his new record breaking jump, only to hear this explanation: “Well, I ran up to the pole and just fell over. It was awesome.”

Somehow when it came time to split up the continent, the Canadians decided the pretty fluffy white stuff up North was better than the beaches, palm trees, ocean, and temperate weather or were severely drugged. I hope beyond all hope they were severely drugged.

Maybe we are nice because we are just happy not to be dead after braving the elements to go to work or get food from the grocery store.

It tends to make me grumpy though.

Where's the beach? I'm COLD.

In -30 Celsius weather, the following things happen:

• Nose hairs freeze within 1 second of being outside. Make sure not to have flared nostrils when braving the elements, otherwise your nose is frozen into place.
• If you decide to not wear mittens, within two minutes you have to look to see if you still have a hand. It quickly becomes a frozen, lifeless lump of flesh that clangs together without any feeling. This is a bad thing.
• Air gets trapped in your lungs and you can barely breathe. In order to breathe, a scarf must be wrapped around your mouth and nose.
• Vehicles must be plugged in so they start. Then the environment is severely harmed by letting the car idle for about 20 minutes before driving anywhere.
• A massive brain freeze occurs from the cold air hitting your forehead. It’s the same exact feeling you get from eating ice cream too fast, but there is no rocky road in your tummy.
• 14 layers of clothing are required to leave the house and you to tell yourself that Oompa Loompa really is the fashion statement this winter.
• Glass wearers suffer more than non-glasses wearers. When a glasses wearer comes inside to escape the frigid temperatures, nothing can been seen for quite some time due to extreme fogging.

All fogged up. Can't see a darn thing!

Where else is being outside a matter of life and death? In hot countries you may become dehydrated, but you aren’t going to die within 20 minutes of being left out in the elements. During a Canadian cold snap this is a reality.

In this weather it is safe to assume the man on the side of the road with a broken car does in fact need help and is not pulling a Ted Bundy scam.

Perhaps that is why we are so nice, if we didn’t help each other out more of us would die.

At least I get to wear fun boots in the snow. This is the only positive of the whole weather fiasco in Canada; fun boots and accessories!

Cute pink boots help make the cold a teeny bit better...and I can still feel my toes!

How are you keeping warm today? If you’re cold and the temperature is above 0 Celsius, please consider yourself to be in paradise!

Brrr!!

The cute Suzuki that is in need of a bath.

As with anything in life, it has a few dings, bumps, and bruises.  It’s not perfect, but what is?

The smashed in backend. There is no hope that the hatch will ever open!

We bought it this way.  We were ecstatic to purchase it,  as it was a huge upgrade from the death trap we had previously been driving around.  After all, it has:

• Windows that roll down
• Doors that don’t lock you in
• Air conditioning
• Cup holders that hold your hot beverage for more than 20 seconds before letting go of the cup and delivering hot coffee all over your lap
• A heater (this is critical when you live in the arctic)
• A radiator that doesn’t require topping up every 3rd day
• Seats that move up and down
• A driver’s side mirror
• The original starter (the death trap was on it’s 5th when we gave it away)
• Defrost.  We used to keep an old credit card in the car to scrape the insides of the windows in the winter when it got really cold.
• A roof that is high enough that you don’t have to slouch when you drive
• A non leaky trunk that doesn’t freeze the spare tire into a lake of ice that requires a blow torch to free it when you get a flat in the middle of winter

We were so excited to get the car that small details like the hatch that doesn’t open was of little consequence.  We are now safe in an ambient temperature vehicle that doesn’t require the Jaws of Life to get out of it.

A little while ago, the red Tuck Tape that was holding the back end started to come loose.  I noticed it the other day at work, but thought little of it.  Then we traveled out to Lake Miquelon and  the industrial strength Tuck Tape gave way.  The rear brake light was only being held on by the internal wiring from the car.  Luckily, my very prepared best friend was there to rescue me.   She quickly whipped out some medical tape from her purse and slapped in my hand as though we were in surgery and I had just requested a scalpel.  I quickly went to work applying the very white tape to ensure the backend of the car would stay put for our ride home.

The quick fix with medical tape.

Then I left the white tape on for another 3 weeks.  I was just happy my little car was all back in one piece, even if it wasn’t a permanent or pretty solution.

So today, I fixed it up as good as new.

As good as new with the sun happily streaming down on it.

We are all broken in some way.  Perhaps you have a smashed up back end and are all taped together, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be glad to be useful.  And when your rear brake light comes loose and threatens to fall out, I hope you have a great friend nearby to patch you back up and help you get on the road of life once again.