Fear Less

Every completely fearless person has one thing in common – they are all dead.

If you want have great memories when your body doesn’t work the way it used to, build deep, meaningful and lasting relationships with the people you love and accomplish those things you must do, you are going to experience a whole lot of fear.

  • One of the great dichotomies in life is the more you face fear, the more you live. The less fear you face, the less you live.

Experiencing fear is an integral part of accomplishing your dreams and growing your potential. If I lived a life without fear, I would simply stay in my house where it is safe and nothing can harm me, do the same job for the next 25 years, go on vacation to the same place at the same time every year, not meet new people, not try new things and keep to what I know how to do now.

do more than exist

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When a person lives like this, things which didn’t used to be scary suddenly are, they start to do less and less with their lives and the dreams which used to light them up become an impossibility.

Reduction of life is not the goal.

You’re either growing and expanding or shrinking and atrophying – there is no such thing as a static state in life. You have no control over the fact that life constantly moves and you must respond to it; what you do have control over is how you respond and the direction that your life goes.

The other week while spending five hours trapped in a crammy tin can with wings, I had long conversations with the people I had to crawl over at the three hour mark of the flight in order to go to the bathroom. Travel, work, hobbies and fitness always come up in my conversations with seat mates – there is nothing quite like telling a perfect stranger random stories about your life. After awhile, the woman next to me made an odd statement about her perception of me. My response, which tumbled out of my mouth without hesitation, was not what she expected.

Middle Seat Lady – “You’re fearless.”

Donloree – Nope. Fear lurks everywhere – there is always something to be afraid of, I simply have things I want to do with my life and the day I let fear make my choices I am completely screwed. Fearless, never. Courageous, yes. Brave, sure.”

Disappointment crossed her face.

I realized I am not afraid of what she is afraid of so I had a special ‘fearless‘ status in her eyes. Yet, the truth remains that as one grows in life there is always something new to be afraid of, to overcome, to conquer.

I was somewhat surprised by my candour, but the truth of what I said remains.

Fear is not the enemy.

Fear lurks everywhere – trying to avoid it is a waste of time and energy. Instead of trying to be without fear, take it in stride and simply look it in the face, take a deep breath and choose courage. Be brave, relentless in your pursuit, disciplined, focused and joyful; fear simply gets to come along for the ride until it gets bored of being ignored.

Fear is not the enemy

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Admitting fear and experiencing it isn’t weakness; dwelling on it and letting it define what you do and how you live your life is.

Instead of trying to be fearless, we need to learn how to fear less.

If and when you fail while facing your fear, try again; the bravery of yesterday will give you courage for tomorrow.

  • Being afraid and moving through fear is an integral part of living a good life.

Every fear moved through and conquered is the realization of a goal or dream. Being brave is not an easy pursuit, yet living a life you’re not supposed to live isn’t easy either.

Be grateful for the opportunity to be brave as you move towards and through fear when it shows up on your path as you accomplish your goals and experience the realization of  your dreams.

What fear are you kicking in the teeth these days? How do you fear less?

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Comments

  1. Brava!

    I love your pearls of wisdom. I love the dichotomy you start with, and the statement “living a life you’re not supposed to live isn’t easy either”. These words speak volumes to me. As you reveal your struggles, you open the eyes of us that may have chosen the “easier” path and left some of our dreams behind. I applaud your bravery and always look forward to your next blog. Donloree, you are an inspiration to us, the young and the older people in your world.

    I am working on the fear of being stuck and immobile. Prayer, and great friends are helping me out of my self imposed box. Reading inspirational blogs like yours encourage deeper thinking and examination of motivations, or lack of them. I am also letting go of stuff. This has been surprisingly freeing.

    • Letting go of things and saying no – incredibly freeing. I am glad to hear you’re embracing the risk and getting after those things that you want to and must do. <3

  2. Wonderful, as always. Fear, unfortunately, is also the primary driver of most of the rhetoric that saturates social media. I have been contemplating heavily on this in recent weeks.

    I like to think in these terms; I was dead for 13.8 billion years before I was born. I’ll be dead for billions more when my life here ends. If I have 10, 20, 30 more years left, I don’t want to let fear keep from anything I can’t do when I’m dead….

  3. I love this post! After having EVERYTHING about my life change in the last two years I have had to face many fears – some little, some overwhelming. What I have learned from this is that I can do it I made it through and am better for it. I now have the ability to deal with fears that 3 or 4 years ago seems insurmountable.

    It has all changed, I feared most every bit of it as it happened but I am happy now in ways that I forgot that I could be. There are so many great quotes that touched me in this post I started out making a note of one statement I liked, and ended up just making a note to refer back to this whole post.

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