The past six months have been an eerily quiet time in my life.
Not too much on the outside, but oh so much on the inside. I have found myself going through my days, wondering what I am doing with my life. Do not misunderstand me, I love what I do and there is nothing wrong except for the fact that something is missing.
At the office and with my clients, I use Strengths Finder to help people understand each other, build teams and learn how to contribute in the most meaningful ways.
Without a doubt, I have the most annoying group of strengths possible.
Add to the list ‘Command‘ which is probably my 6th strength and life with me is hilarious.
Feel free to feel sorry for my husband at any time.
To sum it up in one giant statement, here is what I need to live a full, rich life.
“Crafting my life around completing something bigger than myself which I don’t know how to do but will figure it out as I go and also significantly changes the world for the better makes my world go round.”
Unfortunately I can do everything I am doing right now and nothing seems to be very important or life changing.
Yesterday while journaling before I hit the gym, I was finally able to put words to what I have been feeling for so many months.
I’m leaking. Passion, purpose and direction – where did they go? I love coaching business owners and people to help them figure what they want and help make it happen, but I want to do new things. Me. I love writing but there is nothing to fuel the fire. Blank pages stare back at me, mocking my lack of words. I loved, luh-uh-ved, training for a Figure Competition because it was giant, big and crazy. I adore accomplishing hard, impossible things. The chapter of my life which contains competing is currently closed and needs to stay closed for the time being but oh how I want to crack it back open. Now I am kind of chubby and go through the motions of life every day, a day that is happy but missing the thing which makes my eyes pop open at 4:20 am and my feet hit the floor with a smile. Now my eyes are open at 3:17 am and I wonder why. Why am I going to get up? I get up because that is what I do, but the fire in my belly is missing.
I am looking for something bigger than myself where I can make incredible change.
When I am on purpose and mission, there is very little complaining. Yet lately I have found myself complaining. Things like trekking through the snow up here in the arctic tundra would be an adventure and fun because it is the next thing needed to help move me one micro step closer to doing the impossible.
Lately it is just very bothersome and annoying.
It is time to dream again.
Time to define the next season of my life and pick some incredible and impossible things to accomplish. It is time to craft what success looks like as I look forward.
It is time to stop filling my life with the mundane and start looking for my mountain to climb. My impossible mountain that I will make done and possible so I can show others how to climb.
It is time to reinstate dreaming big, hairy audacious dreams. When you lose your momentum, it takes time to build it back up. I have no idea what my ‘next thing‘ is going to be, but it has to be more than what I am currently doing.
The discipline of dreaming…