Before I let the cat out of the bag about my decision to not compete anymore, I wondered what people would say about it.
Two possible responses came to mind.
- “Ok then…uh…Can you pass the salt?”
- “NOOOOO! You can’t not compete! You have to compete! “
After complete bewilderment walks past people’s eyes when I tell them what I am up to, the same question pops out of everyone’s mouth.
- “Are you still going to train and workout?”
I train for me, not a pant size, the confidence to wear a bikini, or even to get rid of my nemesis. At the crux of my training, I have a deep desire to be healthy, train my mind, body, and soul, and push myself past self imposed barriers.
There is nothing quite like hefting a few hundred pounds off the ground, squatting enough weight to have the strange man at the gym give you a spot without you requesting his help, or being told the hack squat is a back exercise from a skinny man that does full body bicep curls.
It’s freakishly fun.
Besides, I am literally a walking ‘macropedia‘ that can spout off protein, carb, and fat content for more foods than is even reasonable.
New challenges while I continue to train include:
- Learning how to like my body all the time, not just during the weeks surrounding a competition
- Having ‘just one’ and being satisfied
- Accomplishing audacious goals but not letting them define who I am
- Finding different and new ‘mountains‘ to climb
- Spend less time thinking about food, lurking in grocery stores, and reading nutrition labels
There are many more, but those are the challenges staring me down this week.