And Its a Bust!

Permit me to tell you a story…

Once upon a time there was a girl with a crazy name who grew up with loud, audacious dreams in her heart. A fiery determination and cheerful disposition marked her life.

In the midst of her ‘I know best’ teenage years she stopped watering her dreams and stated watering the weeds of negativity, low self esteem, and impossibility given to her by people she deemed friends.

A dense forest of weeds grew to the sky and blocked out the sun while she traveled into adulthood.

dark forest

Not a friendly place, not at all....

Photo Credit

In an effort to see a few glimmers of light, food, shopping, drinking, and adventure were consumed at an alarming rate. The brightness became more and more fleeting until nothing shone and life was only comprised of browns and greys.

Wandering through the darkness for nearly a decade, she finally tripped and fell head long into a deep and dank ravine. While lying in the mucky blackness contemplating whether or not she should attempt climbing out of the hole, a flash of color winked at her from the corner of her eye.

How could anything be alive at the bottom of nothingness?

A purposeful and larger than life dream with a refusal to accept defeat was still living despite the forest of weeds that blocked out the sun.The roots of this dream burrowed deeper than discouragement, self-loathing, and impossibility could ever hope to go. It lived despite circumstance.

Lotus

A dream is a beautiful thing to behold.

Photo Credit

In that moment the girl with the crazy name felt a fire start to burn in her heart, the fire of passion. The seemingly impossible task of clearing the forest suddenly became the one thing she must do, and so she started up the steep cliffs and began anew.

The long lost dream is still alive and worth fighting for. After all, it is her life’s purpose and passion.

I am the girl with the crazy name.

For the past three years I have been taking a machete to the overgrowth of low self-esteem and impossibility mindset and rediscovering who I was created to be.

Out of the ‘being’ comes the ‘doing’ 

After spending a lot of time thinking, I have decided not to compete again.

It is not Bikini or Bust, its just BUST!

Being a Figure Competitor has insidiously come to define me. My measurement of success has shifted from being the best and most fabulous Donloree on the planet to becoming the leanest and most muscular woman possible.

My dream has never been to become a Pro Figure Competitor, despite what I told myself. Achievements mean nothing if you aren’t the woman you have been made to be when you finally earn them.

I have bigger, crazier dreams growing in my heart.

In order to compete again, I would have to pay with my health, self-esteem, family, and dreams. My body is not cooperating despite the 100% adherence I have given to diet, training, and rest.

The price is more than I am willing to pay.

 

Worthy of my sufferingsPhoto Credit

There is a tale told of Cortez that he had his men ‘burn the ships’ when they discovered new land so they had no option but to move forward and conquer what lay ahead.

I could say, I am not competing ‘right now’, but I need to move forward and be the audacious, dream chasing Donloree that I was created to be.

I require all of my health, family, and self to conquer what lies of me.

Teenage girls need to understand how amazing they are and have help figuring out who they have been created to be. My passion in life is to bridge the chasm of the impossible for them so they don’t have to stumble in the dark and fall to their near death before they come face to face with their purpose and passions.

The bedazzled bikini may be hung up, but don’t count me out of the competition of life.

A few jewels have fallen off and I am taking them with me to shine on as I move forward into the next chapter in my life.

I hope you’re willing to come along for the ride because I wouldn’t have it any other way. You had better believe we are going to be lifting heavy in the gym and life.

It is time to train like a champion; tomorrow requires you to be one.

The ships are on fire.

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Comments

  1. amazing D.
    Seems we have traveled a very similar path. I agree with you and support you and will still follow you all the time! ~stalk, stalk, stalk~
    This is only my first competition and I don’t know if continuing to compete is the right path for me either. There are times, I say “Hell Yes.” Others, that I want to explore other great parts of me too. I’m there with you. =)

  2. I can’t wait to see where the girl with the crazy (unique) name goes next!

  3. We’re totally with you. I can’t wait until you reveal the dream! You are inspiring bedazzled bikini or not. GO DL GO!

  4. As always, excellently written, DL. You have to be true to yourself and I think that anyone who knows you, even a little bit, would not define you first as a figure competitor, but rather an excellent person who has competed.

    I have no desire to compete and don’t expect that to change, but I am realistic enough to know that goals & dreams change as we grow. This is simply another evolution of Donloree! I wish you luck as you move forward.

    Burn baby, burn!

  5. Life is always a journey. Can’t wait to see where your journey takes you next!!

  6. YOU are *wonderful*.

    Oh and this is brilliantly written, as always.

    Definitely along for the ride! 🙂

  7. Life is a journey. Your journey will be incredible. I can hardly wait to see what happens next for you.

  8. Sometimes you just have to know what your priorities are and health should definetely be at the top of your list. It’s good to see that you were able to realize what is/n’t working and what course you need to follow. All the best to you and yours. I’m an avid reader of your blog and will continue to be. Sending positive thoughts your way. 😉

  9. This post is incredible!

    I love the idea of living up to your name! To me training is about being strong, loving your body and taking care of your mind! I have toyed with the idea of competing in figure competitions but I am not sure I am up for the mental challenges that go along with it! Like you, I have bigger issues to tackle! Working with women and girls towards improving their self-esteem is one of them!

    I look forward to reading more! Thanks for sharing!

  10. Donloree, you always make me smile. You’re such a great writer and inspiration. Any teenage girl would be blessed to have you help them bridge that chasm. I’m sure this was no easy decision for you but congrats on recognizing what needs to be done for Donloree! I’ll follow you no matter where you go! Your stories and inspiration have lifted me up through many hard times and made me smile. Thanks for always being YOU! 🙂

  11. Donloree,

    You are an amazing individual, and this is a very brave decision of you! You have so many talents and dreams and aspirations – You should follow your heart!
    Good for you! I will continue to follow your blog as I have been! 🙂

    *hugs*

  12. Dl,
    Your journey inspired me to start mine. I would not be where I am now if I had not stumbled onto your blog one summer’s day last year. Every day is a completely new adventure, and I’ve enjoyed reading and following along in those adventures, as well as living my own.

    I’m with you all the way, wherever that takes you! And I expect I’ll go through several “evolutions” as well – we all will!

    All the best,

    Becki

  13. Onward! New frontiers ahead…

  14. Friend, I have no doubt WHATEVER and WHENEVER you do ANYTHING you will be sucessful at it. You lead and inspire so many of us, everyday. And you are brave to know your limits and respect them. Proud of you, and I”ll always be rooting for you!
    HUGS!

  15. very well written post,and a a very brave decision!!!
    LIFE is a journey,dreams are meant to be achieved and i have no doubts you will ALWAYS aim high,reach high and dream BIG!!!!!!

    looking forward to following you along your next big adventure!!!!
    😀

    😀

  16. You are truly an inspiration and I love reading your blog. I will definitely come along for the ride to where you choose to go next. I stumbled upon your blog a couple months ago and your posts are both inspiring and thought provoking for me. I also enjoy your facebook posts, they bring a smile to my face.
    Looking forward to seeing where you go next!

  17. As always, relentlessly positive, inspiring, and lyrical along the way. Very nicely written, beautiful message! Much needed, thank you!

  18. Alli Siemens says:

    Donloree! I only just saw this now! **BIG SMILES** for you 🙂 With ya 110% – “busting” out into BIGGER things!! Thank goodness it all doesn’t end with the bikini!! <3

  19. Girl. Timely post. I just decided the same this past week, only one week after decided to start prep again. My heart wasn’t in it. I LOVE competing, I LOVE getting up on stage but it wrecked my metabolism. I don’t count it out forever but for now, my goal is to be my best, most healthy and happy self and find that place where I’m happy with my body, with my life and learn to stay THERE for a while. I’ve been up, down and all around but never have spent time in a happy place, that’s what it’s time for me to do. Kudos to you chica, love you! xoxo

  20. You helped em with my own journey to the stage and were such a great support. I completely understand how you feel and i love this post…makes me feel like there are others out there who understand the trials and tribulations of competing and the toll it takes on the self, family, friends, and other dreams~!

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