The scale and I have finally made peace.
It only took 32 years.
I used to be the girl that woke up feeling like the world was at her fingertips and anything was possible, until she stepped on the scale.
Deciding its a bad day at 4:41 am makes for a REALLY long day.
A silly number peering back at me was the defining factor of whether or not I was going to be be amazing that day.
If my weight was up, I would:
- feel sorry for myself
- assess and poke every fat molecule on my body
- moan about how my pants that were ‘so loose’ the day before were suddenly cutting the circulation off at my waist
- complain that all the hard work doesn’t matter
Basically I made up a bunch of lies and then decided that those lies defined me.
What a crappy way to live. Finally all my complaining annoyed even me.
You know its bad when you annoy yourself.
Where I wanted to go and where I was headed were two distinctly different places. No one wants to be the weight obsessed, overly critical, and self hating woman that doesn’t see what is fabulous and great about herself.
Heck, no one even wants to go for coffee with her!
One day I realized that who I am is up me and being defined by the scale doesn’t have to be part of me. It seemed impossible to change this view of myself, but who I am, not how much I weigh, matters.
Who you are impacts the people around you in more ways that you know.
I flipped the switch and changed my mind.
It didn’t happen overnight, but the possibility of the number on the scale defining my day was no longer and option for me.
Constraining your options can either be restrictive or empowering. When you say ‘no’ to something you are saying ‘yes‘ to something else.
I decided to say YES to liking myself no matter how much gravitational pull I had on the earth.
How did I do it?
- Chose my day before I weighed in. I declared, out loud, what kind of day it was going to be before I stepped on the scale.
“Today is a fantabulous day and I am so excited to be alive.”
- Reflected on my reflection. I stopped saying negative things to myself when I saw myself in the mirror. Take the opportunity to see what is great and inwardly remind yourself about it.
“You’re adorable and a kick arse coach who is taking over the world. Go DLoree!”
- Attached dettachment. I committed to being ambivalent to the number that showed up. I wrote it down and chose to promptly forget about it. When it popped into my head again, I swatted it away like an annoying summer mosquito.
“Ack! Get out of here you blood sucking thought! I have no use for you.”
- Worked hard every day. Every day is an opportunity to work hard at being the very best woman you can be. If I give the day my very best effort I can proudly stand on the scale at like whatever number shows up.
“Up two pounds from yesterday. Woot! You creamed yesterday’s leg workout and are storing water like a camel. Camels rock.”