17 Hours, Guns, and a Fiat Named Charmaine

I started yesterday with only three hours of sleep and one cup of coffee, but I was as giddy as a Junior High girl who just got asked out by the cutest boy in school.

I am going to Fantasy Camp! 

Fantasy Camp – An invite only weekend put on by Joe for a handful of his clients. Spaces are usually filled in 8 hours of announcing the date. Everyone that doesn’t die ALWAYS wants to come back.

Three flights and a 2 hour drive awaited me and the last thing I needed to do was have lost luggage, so I carried everything on.

Cardio was ‘sherpa-ing’ instead of running.

Carry on luggage

Yes, I know totally over the top!!!

All was going well until I hit border security.

I pack all my food  everywhere I go, so why would America be any different? Last time I ‘crossed over’ they let me keep my fruit and veggies, so I decided to pack them for the day. I claimed my apple and went confidently up to the border security woman.

She sent me back to ‘No Man’s Land’ to have a snack.

Eating apple in no man's land

Not the time to eat, but I wasn't about to NOT eat it my one fruit of the day!

Apparently if I hadn’t been so darned organized and washed the apple that morning I could have taken it across. If I had a sticker on the darn thing that has said it was from it would have been fine.

Perhaps a post it note would have worked? I had some of those in my purse.

Border security take two.

The rogue apple had been consumed and was now going to America via my tummy, so all was well. Right?

Wrong.

My next attempt was with a man in his mid thirties who looked like he worked out and was bored out of his mind.

Fit and Bored Security Officer: So where are you off to today?

DL: A fitness camp! Its going to be so much fun. So excited.

FBSO: Umm…what fruit that you are bringing across?

DL: Oh that’s in my tummy now. I had to go back and eat it, your friend over there sent me back to consume it in No Man’s Land. Done! (Waving at first security officer)

FBSO: Fitness camp, eh? What kind?

DL: Bodybuilding.

FBSO: (checking out my arms under my coat as nearly every man does when he gets this piece of information) Bodybuilding? Really. I’m going to need a showing of the guns to validate this information.

DL: (staring blankly and then laughing nervously) Excuse me?

FBSO: A gun show. How am I going to know you’re telling the truth?

Time is running out at this point and I have security to get through and do not want to miss my flight. Nervous panic sets in.

DL: Yes. A bodybuilding camp. Fine.

Apparently posing practice started early.

I was never so happy to get my passport stamped.

My final leg of my journey required a rental car. In a very tired-drunk state I got a strange key and instructions to where to find my car.

I shlepped my luggage through the parking lot and gave a happy little hop and squeal when I found my car.

A Fiat!

Fiat and Donloree

This is the cutest car on the planet!

Apparently J.Lo. is the spokesperson for the car, so it only makes sense that DLo give it a spin! I promptly named her Charmaine and learned that going 85 mph in a golf cart feels like 60 mph. Thank goodness for cruise control.

Woot!

Needless to say, I am beyond excited to get my arse handed to me on a silver platter by Joe Klemczewski, Kori Propst, Anthony and Karen Monetti, Martin Daniels, Amy Llinas Lynch, TJ Lynch, and Jordan Chabinsky.

I am doing video interviews with some of these fabulous people for the blog, so what do you want to know? What burning questions do you have for professional bodybuilders?

And if I die, please bring cheesecake to my funeral.

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Comments

  1. Have fun stormin’ the gun show! Look forward to your blogging about it! those fiates scare me!

  2. Wow! That sounds so exciting and so much fun! Really jealous but I know you’ll have a great time – tell us all about it!

  3. This post made my morning. I’m so glad you got an awesome border crossing guard. On the way back challenge him to an arm wrestle? 😉

  4. Love the travel recap 🙂

  5. The only reason I’m not laughing out loud is because I’ll wake my family up. The fit bodygaurd exchange. OMG!

    • It was so funny and ridiculous at the same time. I can’t believe I struck a pose for a customs man…apparently I will do strange things to get my passport stamped. lol!

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  1. […] was on tap and I was excited beyond belief and scared out of my mind. In my blog post about traveling across the border to get my Canadian arse kicked, I quipped, ‘If I die, please bring cheesecake to my […]

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