I’ve Mastered The Art of ‘Spot Reduction’!

According to many of my friends and family, I am a ‘fitness freak‘. Basically this means I go to the gym a lot, eat clean, read more books and articles on fitness and health than is reasonable, am a Certified Personal Trainer, bring my food most places I go, and I have this crazy blog.

I agree, totally freakish.

Freaks get asked a lot of questions.

I get asked the same question all the time and no one ever likes the answer.

  • Health Conscious Friend – “How do I get rid of the fat around my <insert most disliked body part>?! What exercises should I do to make it go away?”
  • DL – “You are gorgeous! What makes you think you need to ‘get rid’ of it?”
  • HCF – “I hate, loathe, despise it! (Emphasizing point by grabbing aforementioned body part) Tell me there is something I can do. What are the exact exercises I should to do to make it go away?’
  • DL – “So you’re going to hate this answer. You need to eat healthy and workout consistently with strength and cardio to make fat go away. And even then, it won’t come off one area all at one time. Your body will burn fat for fuel as it sees fit and no one exercise is going to make fat come off this particular area.”
  • HCF – “I hear you saying I need to put down the chocolate bars and chips and pick up the running shoes and dumbbells…”
  • DL – “Yup. Consistent, hard work creates fantabulous results over the long haul….’
  • HCF – (Looking thoroughly frustrated) ‘Bleh. I wanted a different answer. So 400 sit-ups a day isn’t going to do it?”
  • DL – “Nope. Sorry. Embrace the vegetables and start sweating!”

Wouldn’t it be nice if the airbrushed fitness models on the covers of the magazines weren’t lying and you could magically have the body of your dreams in mere days?

Stupid fitness magazines that lie to you

Liar, liar, abs on airbrushed fire!!

Yesterday I realized that I was wrong. Oh so very wrong.

Spot reduction is possible. I am living proof.

With a clean diet, consistent and hardcore strength training, and HIIT cardio sessions you too can spot reduce fat…off your boobs.

Oh wait…this is not helpful.

No woman has ever asked how to make her chest smaller in order to positively change her Muffin Top To Chest (MTTC) ratio.

When you ‘spot reduce‘ your chest, you end up with:

  • Flap jacks
  • Socks with a bit of sand
  • Fried eggs stapled to a wall
  • Perogies

Perhaps that is why competitors focus so much on growing ‘wings‘ and ‘boulder shoulders’. Compensation; need I say more?

Dang. For a minute I really thought I was onto something.

Strangely enough, even though I barely need a bra I still refuse to leave the house without it.

Old habits die hard I guess.

Have you ‘spot reduced’ too?

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Comments

  1. Linda Steward says:

    HIlarious!!!! I have had the exact conversations with my clients…and I have those exact same boobs. hahaha!! Thanks~from one “fitness freak” to another.

  2. Buahahahahaha!!!
    I only laugh because I’m in the same boat. My once perky 34D cups are now sad, flat, floppy English muffins. My husband tells me, “Well, you always wanted small boobs. You got your wish.” If they were perky, I swear, I wouldn’t complain!
    LPM

  3. my once amazingly HUGE DD44’s are now….flap jacks. i’m so sad.

  4. OMG!!! This post had me cracking up! Spot Reduction indeed! When I was in my weight loss journey, my trainer always said, “Do you want boobs, or do you want to lose weight??” When I reached goal, maintained goal and then did my first competition, her answer to my whining changed to, “You want boobs? Get fat again. No? Then suck it up, Princess!” Hahaha! While I might be mammary challenged, I am quite content with the rest of what my hard work resulted in 😉 Though it does seem to add insult to injury when competition training makes them pimples instead of flap jacks. Hahahaha!!

  5. Haha, love this!! I’m actually convinced my boobs have gotten bigger! I’m barely fitting in a C-cup, yet I can see my abs….it’s very weird but I’m NOT complaining!!

  6. Oh dear, hehe! I haven’t noticed the girls getting bigger or smaller, but I’ve definitely noticed a reduction in side boob (you know, the bits outside the cups). Woohoo!

  7. HAHA! I know exactly what you are talking about. After my initial weight loss I used to joke that I had droopy cat teats (you know when they give birth and their teats look all…yeah…). But you know, whatever. I got over it.

  8. Yep, my body definitely spot reduces. Sigh. Thank goodness for Vicky and her fabulous secret!

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