Back when there was more of me to love and I had to lay down to zip up my pants after they came out of the dryer, I immensely disliked the skinny chicks that only ate vegetables. They drove me up the wall. I mean, COME ON, eat the darn chocolate bar!!
Or at least that is what I used to think.
I hated them. They were skinny, cute, and wore size 4 pants; yet they were insecure about how they looked, wouldn’t eat fattening foods, and didn’t love their bodies.
I just didn’t get it….but now I do.
When I was 220 pounds I was insecure, constantly judging myself, and did not love my body. I freely admit that I ate all the fattening food imaginable…I will never forget the time I ate two family sized bags of mini eggs in one day…diabetic coma anyone? I told myself the lie, “If I was that thin and could wear size 4 pants I wouldn’t be like that. I would just be SO HAPPY!”
The thing is wherever you go, there you are.
So if you’re not happy with who you are on the inside at 220 pounds, you aren’t going to be happy with yourself at 135 pounds. Your pant size doesn’t define your happiness, what you believe about yourself and how you live does.
I am not going to be THAT girl anymore. I am going to be the woman that has a salad in tow, who won’t eat your dessert, is known as the healthy one in the group, and can do 50 unassisted chin ups even if she wants to die the next day; but I am not no longer going to be the insecure, self loathing woman that doesn’t know who she is or where she is going.
Being fully yourself is soaring above the clouds like an eagle. So many times when I start to soar, I look down and panic at how far down I could fall so I immediately start looking for a place to land, a sturdy branch or ledge somewhere.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen an eagle just randomly plummet to the earth.
So from now on, let’s embrace who we are and soar like eagles. When you live fulfilled life is exciting, no matter what size pants you are wearing!