All of my adult life I have never had a scale in my house. When I was heavy it was because I didn’t want to know how much I really weighed. I didn’t want to face the fact that I was in Obese Class 1, I wanted to pretend that I was healthy and fit. I enjoyed being delusional about my weight and possible health issues because it seemed too hard to make the necessary changes.
Weighing myself has never been a thing I look forward to.
I am a sturdy woman; built for the farm. I come from a German lineage of hardworking people that required excess weight on them to make it through the hard winters. If I had to bring the harvest in, haul grain to feed the animals, or lift bales of hay all day I would most likely appreciate my sturdy frame and tendency to keep a reserve of energy, aka Muffin Top. If that were the case, I wouldn’t care a whit about how much I weighed.
When you’re a Figure Competitor your weight is an indicator, not the be all and end all, but an indicator of where you are at. So I weigh myself at the YMCA every day after I work out. This is less than ideal. I could be dehydrated or overly hydrated depending on the workout went and how much water I consumed during the workout. Lately my weight has been fluctuating 3-4 pounds throughout the week.
It is not a good feeling to step on the scale and have ‘gained‘ 4 pounds in the last 18 hours. That would be nearly impossible. I eat around 1,300 calories a day right now; if I were to consume 12,000 calories in 18 hours you would find me in the ER with heart palpitations!
So I bit the bullet and purchased my very first scale.
To only weigh myself once a day when I first wake up is going to take some discipline. Possibly more discipline than not eating the peanut butter straight out of the jar. I have to be satisfied with whatever the scale says and not try to trick it into having me weigh less as the day progresses.
I am only allowed to do this once a day.
I have waited 12 years to be responsible enough with my self esteem and self worth to have a scale in my house. I have stopped eating the peanut butter straight out of the jar like a crazy lady, so I have hope that I can be responsible with the scale.