Life Lessons From The Little Blue Journal

As you know, in order to figure out why I feel the need to eat more than any woman needs to in the day, I have implemented the Little Blue Journal action plan in my kitchen.

A very cute, innocuous looking blue journal lives on top of my fridge. Whenever I want to eat something that I am not supposed to or find myself lurking in the kitchen for no reason other than to tempt myself with food I have to write in the journal.

Does anyone else find it fitting and ironic that I have a pig magnet on my fridge?

There have been days when I have to write in it numerous times. Looking back over the entries, there is some good learning.

Here’s what I have learned so far:

1.  When I feel out of control I put things in my mouth to ‘stick it to the man’.

So ridiculous. In order to show how much control I have I decide to be out of control with my food. This is anything but rational.

2. I am afraid of success.

Sometimes I worry about what will happen if I ACTUALLY am successful, so I ensure I am not successful by eating half a jar of peanut butter. It’s easier to stay where you are because its a place you know; going out into the unknown is scary!

3.  Food means I love you.

I love giving gifts to people and I love getting them even more. I make and bring food as gifts for people when I want to show them that I love and appreciate them. This demonstration of love translates 100% to myself. When I want to love and appreciate myself I give myself the gift of food, aka a muffin top, which is NOT what I actually want.

4.  I deserve it!

Entitlement is not pretty to watch. Whenever I see it in other people I usually want to give them the sharp side of my tongue…but when it comes to me I let it slide. Eating a whole bowl of super buttery popcorn because I am entitled to whatever I want and deserve it after all the hard work that I have put in is not pretty to watch. Nor is the resulting Buddha belly pretty to look at.

5. My life feels empty today, so I am going to fill up my tummy.

If I only finished half my task list or had a deflating day, my solution is to fill the void with food. It gives a few moments of feeling full which is a welcome relief after feeling empty all day long. Unfortunately, the empty feeling that comes once the euphoria of eating half a litre of frozen yogurt is even more haunting than the feeling you started with.

What are you learning about your relationship with food? Anyone journaling about why they are eating when they don’t want to? I would love to hear what you are learning!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Comments

  1. I really liked reading this post. I see and feel in myself point 2 & point five, so much so it gave me a wee tear in my eyes. I’m not journaling like you, yet I should be. Reading your experience has given me quite a few things to consider about myself and my relationship with food. An eye opener. Thanks D!

  2. Yes such an eye opener! I can totally relate to point 3. Food means I love you. I give myself the gift of food and then I give myself too much, in turn, giving myself something I don’t want: FAT! It’s so crazy how our minds work with this. I need to retrain myself to think differently. We rationalize into thinking it’s(eating more then we need) rational but really it’s so irrational.

    • I am working on how I can love myself in ways that aren’t food related – not even a cup of coffee because that starts me down the road towards food. Its actually a really hard question to answer. The main problem is that I like how food makes me feel and how quickly I can get it. Everything else takes more work….thoughts?

  3. Cindy Smith says:

    You are so right on, Donloree. I can see myself in your entire post. I get stressed, I eat. I get mad, I eat. I’m sad, I eat. I’m lonely, I eat. I deserve it, I eat…… The kitchen journal sounds like a great idea. Thanks once again for the encouragement you are to stay the course.

    • If you start the kitchen journal, let me know what you find out! It’s so exciting to learn about yourself. And it’s totally calming to write in the journal before you grab the food, helps you to know if you need it or not.

Trackbacks

  1. […] am working on why I over indulge on food and I am learning a lot good things about myself and my emotional eating, but I still have a long way to go. So for now I have plans in place to keep me on […]

  2. […] jar again. I want to feel satisfied and in control, so I am overeating. After spending some time journaling in the little blue journal, I realized that I am sabotaging myself because I am scared out of my mind to be successful. So I […]

Speak Your Mind

*

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.