No More Wandering In The Desert!

It has only been 9 days since my competition, but for how lost I have been and how epic it has felt it might as well have been 4o years!

I found myself doing things I never do anymore. I am ashamed to admit that I:

  • ate half a box of Dad’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in ONE night
  • only gave half effort at the gym, merely went through the motions
  • ate copious amounts of sesame snaps because I was bored and I thought the taste may be interesting
  • let bad thoughts about myself crowd out the truth
  • tried to cover up discouragement with 4 large protein bars within one hour
  • went off the rails one evening with my eating, knew I should stop, but decided that since caution has already been thrown to the wind that I would just GO FOR IT!

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get control. My mind was like a row boat in the middle of an ocean storm, there was no hope to paddle out of it. The sugar highs and lows, along with the emotional highs and lows were getting too much to take. Even if I had a good day of clean eating and a great workout mixed in with the wandering, it did nothing to help.

I had lost my way.

Everyone wants to know how to diet well, ideas for dieting, tricks and tips, good recipes, etc. Those things are all great tools, but if you’re lost they don’t help you one bit.

Today I found my way. I forgot who I am and how important it is to live that out for a whole week.  It was a week from hell. I used to live like this every day of my life – no wonder I was so upset all the time! I don’t necessarily need a goal in order to eat clean, I need to know who I am and what I am about. I finally feel focussed and happy; which feels wonderful!

Goals, competition dates, wedding dresses, and pant sizes will motivate you to eat clean and work out, but knowing who you are and living on purpose will drive you to do it. The focus and results are unparalleled.  I will not put up with cheating, just getting by, and only getting minimal and frustrating results. Figure Competitors are amazing women that know how to live a full life of excellence and step into their potential, they do not settle for average. Now they may cry if their oatmeal explodes, glue a bedazzled suit to another woman, or appear as though they have leprosy now and again,  but they do it in complete fullness of who they are!

Live on purpose and just be you….and maybe keep 12 almonds in a Ziploc in your purse at all times just in case of an emergency!

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Comments

  1. I recall reading once ..

    You wouldnt want to be cheated on by your significant other, so why would you cheat on yourself.

    Although, we have all been in that lil rowboat post comp .. real “competitors” find their way back to shore, youve done well to find it so quickly!

  2. Wow, Donloree. Thank you for your openness and bravery. I’ve done things like this in the past after a lengthy diet and always felt ashamed. This shows me that it is a human reaction. Normal. Completely human and ordinary. Also I am so happy that you aren’t staying in that out of control place. Its not you. Maybe it was you — maybe it was me — once. But not now.

    How’s it coming with choosing co-competitors? hint hint. If there are too many, maybe you can do it by region? or some other way. I sure want to be part of this. Strength in numbers!

  3. You know what? Don’t feel guilty about it. How long did you work hard and prepare and diet? It’s okay to have bad days and cheats and enjoy those foods you haven’t been able to enjoy in a very long time. I’ve gone overboard too but we know how to jump right back on track easily. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve done great!

  4. I’ve found it really helps to have an off-season plan to jump into after your show. The plan doesn’t have to be strict, but it’s still a plan – something to follow like you’ve been following your prep plan. It may include treat meals, less intense workouts, etc. But since it’s all part of a PLAN, it doesn’t feel like cheating. Cuz the week after, the treats are removed and the workouts are intensified.

    Sounds like you found your way and are back on a plan you for yourself. Keep thinking positively, and remember that your self-worth isn’t based on whether or not you ate cereal or had a less-than-perfect workout.

  5. Cindy Smith says:

    Just remember that this is a journey – not a destination (direct quote from my trainer, Austin). We never “arrive” – it’s a lifestyle. I would be more concerned if you were in denial of slipping off the wagon. Your openness and transparency shows your strength and commitment. You’re fabulous!

    • I agree with Cindy, denial would be the REAL problem, but you are always honest with yourself – proved by your transparency here!

      I also like Kari’s suggestion about the post-comp plan and including treats so it’s still part of the “Plan” so it’s not cheating – I’m going to have to remember that for my post-comp week.

  6. I just think you’re wonderful. The problem with “falling off the wagon” is when you live in denial, or if you don’t get back ON that wagon again. I agree with the others; you let yourself slip (good for you!), you recognized a negative pattern, and you pulled yourself out instead of remaining in that place. But how can you celebrate what you’ve overcome if you don’t occasionally re-visit where you were once?

    You rock, Lady. I’m just sayin’…

  7. Thanks everyone! It was such a rough week, but now I have a plan as Kari has suggested and have a much better perspective about things. Life is a journey, not a destination. Its most important who we are on the journey, not when or even if we get there.
    Couldn’t do it without you guys!!!

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