Top 10 things that look fun, but aren’t…
Posted on 19 December 2009
There are things in life that seem like they will be fun and everyone thinks they will be fun, but they aren’t.
They are horrible.
- Skiing. Strapping boards to your feet, climbing thousands of feet up a steep part of a mountain, and then sliding down while trying not to die is a bad idea. Perhaps it’s because I am not sports inclined, but getting frostbite while contemplating your life with only two small poles to keep you from death is not my idea of fun.
- White water kayaking. When you find yourself hanging upside down in the water while strapped into a small plastic boat heading straight into the rapids, you will understand. Can anyone say ‘air’?
- Tole Painting. People look so serene and happy painting flowers, birds, and other kitschy things on wooden objects. In reality it’s a practice in learning how not to swear while doing a genteel lady’s craft. The art isn’t about painting at all, it’s actually appearing to be kind and gentle all while fighting the intense desire to harm someone.
- Running marathons. The prestige associated with marathon runners is huge; everyone seems to revere a person that can run 26 miles straight. Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely impressive but who wants to spend 3 hours a day running around instead of drinking lattes and catching up with friends? All so that you can pay money to run in a race and get a t-shirt. Something isn’t adding up for me.
- Martha Stewart recipes. Martha is a horrible, vindictive woman that is not on the everyday woman’s team. She creates fabulous magazines with beautiful pictures of food that seem attainable. What she fails to tell you is each recipe requires at least one ingredient that can’t be sourced unless you have black market connections and at the end of your 3 hour meticulous baking extravaganza you will only have 24 odd looking cookies to show for all your hard work.
- Canning. Take at least one whole day of your life, cut vegetables or fruit for 6 hours, shove them into jars, and then cook them in a huge vat on your stove for hours on end. After 12 hours, your house is hotter than a sauna and you’ve used up all your energy for the week. The only reason to can anything is if you don’t have a grocery store within 200 kms of your house.
- Pedicures. I love shoes and am a known shoe-aholic. I need those calluses to be able to wear all my shoes and don’t want to pay someone money to touch my feet for an hour and make all my shoes painful to wear. It’s just a bad idea.
- Swimsuit shopping. Whenever a girl plans a trip to a tropical place, a new swimsuit is required. It seems like fun to go get a cute new suit for your trip until you are standing underneath florescent lights with all your cottage cheese, droopiness, and muffin top hanging out for the world to see. All of the sudden it is clear why some women opt for muumuus instead of bikinis.
- Riding the teacups. Going to the fair is always fun and nostalgic, and at times the nostalgia can get you into trouble. You find yourself thinking that riding the childhood rides is a good idea. Halfway into the teacup ride while trying to hold down your chili dog and caramel apple you remember why the dizzying ride is only good for people under the age of 12.
- Gardening. It seems romantic to till the earth, plant seeds, and watch the fruits of your labor grow. After fighting weeds, rocks, drought, and bugs for 8 weeks all you have to show for your labor of love are 8 tomatoes, 4 zucchinis, and 7 ears of sad looking corn. The lettuce comes in right away, but is out of season by the time your meager amount of tomatoes and zucchini are ready to be eaten. Since you have to go to the grocery store anyways for veggies for the lettuce, why not skip the stress of the garden and leave the veggie growing to the professionals?
If you are thinking about attempting any of these things, I suggest you don’t.
What is on your list of things that look fun but aren’t?
7 responses to Top 10 things that look fun, but aren’t…
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Nichole and I had some delicious canned peaches last night at someone’s house and were contemplating joining next year in the canning party.
For me some of these things are fun when you are doing them with people you like. Riding a bike for 200 miles in two days doesn’t seem like fun, but doing it with my sister and father, I had a great time and made a memory that will last forever.
Don’t do the canning!!! You do have a good point, bad things with good people can still be fun. Happy canning?
Oh my gosh I laughed so hard I thought I was going to.. well you know. HA This list was so funny!
Thanks for starting my day right!!
Glad you enjoyed it! I hate doing something I think will be fun, only to find myself wanting to rip my hair out.
I really enjoy reading your blogs Donloree! I also dislike Martha Stewart. Why do we need to print out labels for our linen closet to tell us where the hand towels go?! So that one day when we rearrange we have a whole project of moving the labels? She’s SO mean to her guest experts; she always talks down to them or spews advice about how she normally does it better…and yet she doesn’t even really do anything herself, she has a whole team that does it for her! I don’t know why I’m so passionate about my dislike of her, it isn’t as if I’m opposed to a cute house and good food but, sheesh, do we really need to use a meat baster to squeeze batter onto the griddle for perfectly round pancakes? Give me a break.
scrapbooking definitely fits into this category. I thought it would be a fun artsy thing to do, but it just drove me crazy because it took forever. I say just put the pics in albums. You can do a whole pile in about 5 minutes instead of 5 months!
I totally blocked out scrapbooking! It definitely deserves to be on the list because it makes me crazy too. I say just put all the pictures in a box, that’s how artsy I am with the pictures – not at all.