Shades of Marilyn

Posted on 03 November 2009

I despise nylons.  HATE them.  I have no idea why women have to wear them in order to be deemed a proper woman in society.

For awhile I led a one woman campaign against the wearing of nylons by refusing to wear them, no matter how cold it was outside.  It could be -40 Celsius outside and I would still refuse to wear them.

Then some of my running women from the YMCA pointed me towards tights.  It’s the lesser of two evils, but still evil nonetheless.  To be fair to tights, they rarely run when you snag them and have a greater resistance to gravity, but I still hate them.

Why doesn’t society force men to wear hosiery under their clothing that sometimes goes up to their armpits and creates havoc on their whole day?

It’s just not fair.

Yesterday I broke down and wore tights with my cute Kenneth Cole dress and Jump red boots. The only reasons I opted for tights was because the dress is shorter than I usually wear to work and it’s winter up here in the arctic.

Boy, am I glad I decided to be a proper woman in society!

There I was walking downtown with one of my male co-workers; portfolio in one hand and a cup of hot, hot coffee in the other.  Suddenly a gust of wind picked up the hem of my cute Kenneth Cole dress and I became Marilyn Monroe for a moment.

I always thought it would be fun to have a Marilyn moment, but not when you’re working and don’t have the ability to keep the dress in place due to your hands being full.  If this happens, you become a screaming woman with a dress flying up in your face while squatting to the ground in an attempt to blend into the concrete. 

Just so you know, the screaming and squatting just makes it worse. 

As quickly as the wind came up, it died down.

I handed the coffee to my bemused co-worker, straightened my dress out, and asked that he carry the coffee to the car so that another ridiculous event didn’t happen.

I was just glad I was wearing black tights.  They made it a smidgen less awkward when the wind made an attempt to show off my fuchsia underwear. 

From this day forward, I won’t curse tights; I will wear them with thankfulness in my heart.

4 responses to Shades of Marilyn

Suzanne says:

November 4, 2009 at 9:33 am

The description of your futile panic & correction made me giggle. Definitely a reason to be thankful you wore the darn things.

P.S. Those boots are awesome!

Reply

Donloree says:

November 4, 2009 at 11:59 am

Thanks! I was so thankful I put them on, heck I even went back home for the for some reason!

I agree about the boots, love the heck out of them!

Reply

Anne says:

November 14, 2009 at 8:28 pm

I am so enjoying your blog. Might be called “the hysterical escapades of the average woman.” Marilyn Monroe Moment? – great one. Doesn’t work in the real world does it?

Anne @alivenkickin

Reply

• Donloree says:

  November 14, 2009 at 8:34 pm

  I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! It totally doesn’t work in real life. Pretty much anything romantic on TV doesn’t work out in real life! =)

  Reply

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