Don’t Show Off At Physiotherapy

Posted on 02 September 2009

Today was what I hoped would be my last physiotherapy appointment for my back.  I was running late, so I changed into my workout clothes at work and hurried to the car.  I yelled goodbye to everyone and they all wished me luck.  As I put my bags into the front seat and started to step into the car, a bird decided to poop on me.

I grimaced as I felt it hit my head, slide down my arm, and land on my leg that was partially in the car. I think I may have sworn a little bit under my breath.

As I stomped back into the office, everyone looked up to see who was storming past them.  I announced that I just got pooped on and hate all birds.  Everyone tried not to laugh, but there was much snickering.

I finally made it to physiotherapy and passed all my strength tests with flying colors.  During my first set of exercises which involved balancing on a large ball on my hands and knees, I was asked how I was doing.

Due to the happiness of how well my back was doing, I announced, “I’m doing great, I can even do one arm!”  As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I realized I was being rather cocky about my skills while the rest of the patients struggled with their exercises.  

The physiotherapist responded with, “Well, it does look way too easy.  Let’s do something hard.”

As penance for having a big mouth, I was forced to do lunges backwards, squats on stability balls, and other things that should be reserved as torture methods for terrorists.  I found myself shaking like crazy while trying to  to complete the new exercises.  I was reduced to a weak, sweaty woman that was gasping for breath.  Who’s doing great now?

I suppose I deserve to be pooped on for being a physiotherapist braggart.  If I promise to keep my mouth shut at my next physiotherapy appointment, will the birds decide NOT to poop on my head?

2 responses to Don’t Show Off At Physiotherapy

your mom says:

September 4, 2009 at 11:25 am

How do you manage to get pooped on so much…or now and then. I do not want to exaggerate! Just remembering Homer, AK!!!! OY VEY! Your life is an adventure.

Reply

• Donloree says:

  September 4, 2009 at 1:37 pm

  I know it. I recall the words, “You had better NOT poop on me!” coming out of my mouth 2 seconds before a enormous bird relieved itself on my head. This is why I dislike birds.

  Reply

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