What a girl really wants…

Posted on 14 August 2009

I decided to learn to play golf, so I went to the driving range and hit some balls.

I immediately fell in love with the feel of hitting a ball 200 yards.  It’s a cheap form of aggression management.  For nine bucks, you get 100 balls to hit into oblivion and no one gets hurt. 

During my third session of nine-dollar aggression management, I hit a ball and made sure to follow through with gusto.  I was trying to get the ball past all the distance markers and be a superstar golfer.  At the end of the swing, I felt all the vertebrae in my back and heard even single one of them as they popped back into place.  For about 2 seconds my body froze into a statue of a golfing woman. 

I kept golfing, despite the large twinges in my back.  After all, I had around 62 more balls to hit as hard as womanly possible.

Then I went back the next day.

Now I can’t do a darn thing and it’s been almost two weeks.

Until you hurt your back, you have no idea how much you use your back in the day.  All I want to do is put my own socks on, be able to sit for more than 45 seconds, and do more than look at things that are on the floor.

I have been relegated to wearing ‘sensible shoes’, which actually means boring.  At work I have been wearing my sports sandals with my suits and dresses.  Even the men have noticed how ridiculous this looks.  I bring along a pair of heels to put on in the boardroom in case a client drops by, but I can’t walk in them without screaming out in pain.  I have come to realize that I don’t have any stylish flat shoes, only fabulous heels.

Today while resting my angry back and trying to avoid emotional eating, I put on my favorite pair of heels.  Just wearing them for a bit made me feel better.  I still can’t put my own socks on, but at least I have some great shoes!

Jeffrey Campbell – you sure know how to make a girl happy!