Be-YOU-tiful

May 22, 2013 by 13 Comments

I love participating in the Under Armour ‘What’s Beautiful‘ campaign. Taking time to chew on the important topic of self esteem and what beauty actually is has me realizing how far I have come over the many years I have been alive.

beyoutiful

At the age of 15, I stopped believing that I was beautiful. In fact, I decided that I was anything but beautiful – a hopeless misfit that would never be more than someone with a ‘great personality’.

The pain of believing you’re ugly.

Some moments seem to have more than just 60 seconds in them; in fact one second can seem like a lifetime.

The first time I saw Jeremy Fortiner, the world stopped turning and my heart nearly pounded outside of my chest. Somehow I remembered to breathe as I stumbled forward, grabbing my sister’s arm and gasping something intelligible. Tall, muscular, red hair, green eyes, and well, hot.

At the age of 15, I was finally able to go to high school camp as a Freshman. High school camp meant high school boys. After enduring junior high boys who were all shorter than I was, it was a welcome change to not be bigger and taller than all the boys.

Awkward doesn’t even start to describe the tall, overweight, glasses wearing, clumsy, unconfident girl that I was coming into camp. I was the girl that every mom wanted her boys to be friends with; I was safe and rather undatable.

Safe isn’t beautiful to high school boys.

The whole week of camp was spent brushing my hair, applying extra coats of mascara and lip gloss, and wearing cute shoes in hopes Jeremy would take notice. Looking back, I am sure he took notice since I was constantly in his shadow unsucessfully trying to look cute and get his attention.

After 5 days, I started to lose hope of him ever noticing me, let alone talking to me.

Trudging back to the cabin after meandering around the lake with wearing my bathing suit and cut off shorts with my big bird beach towel slung careless over my shoulder in an attempt to find my crush and make him notice me, my luck changed.

My friend James, who’s mom much appreciated my safe qualities, yelled five words that changed the trajectory of my 15 year old life.

James: “Jeremy is looking for you!” 

DL: “Jeremy? Jeremy Fortiner? Not your brother Jeremy?’ 

James: “Yup. He’s been looking all over camp for you. Seems anxious to find you. Strange. Odd actually.”

My heart started to pound and I sprinted to my cabin to ensure I had adequate mascara and lip gloss applied before he could find me. I was certain all my prayers and awkward lurking had finally paid off. He finally noticed me. He finally wanted to talk with me, to ask me out on a date. My fifteen year old heart was overflowing with anticipation and my palms dripped with sweat.

Coming around the path, I saw him running towards me.

It was movie magic in the making.

Jeremy: “Hey! There you are. I have been looking all over for you.”

Awkward 15 year old DL: “Really? Oh. Here I am.” Eyelashes batting in a haphazard way.

Jeremy: “Do you have a mosquito in your eye? Or a twitch?”

Awkward 15 year old DL: “No. Sorry.” The eyelash batting was replaced with nervous giggles.

Jeremy: “Anyways, I have been looking all over for you. I need to talk to you. I have something to give you. I have a note to give you.”

Awkward 15 year old DL: “A note? Oh wow!” My first love note. I could no longer form coherent sentences.

Jeremy: “Yes, I have a note for you to give to your sister. I think she is beautiful and I would like to go out with her, so I wrote her a note. I want you to give it to her. She is so pretty!”

Awkward 15 year old DL: *gulp* “Sure…a note for my sister…no problem…” Tears clawed at my throat and no words were able to come out, head bobbing let him know I would be his letter carrier.

Jeremy: “Awesome. Thanks buddy!” A handsome hand clapped my shoulder as he jogged away, crushing my heart with every single step.

Believing lies is never helpful.

At the age of 15, I let this and many other such painful experiences define my view of beauty. I decided that I was not beautiful and that every other woman was; that somehow God got distracted when he was stirring up the Donloree DNA and added too much quirky and a double portion of funny and altogether left out beautiful.

  • It turns out that beauty was woven into every fiber of my being.

If I could go back and sit with my 15 year old self as she sat on the kissing rock on the river all alone sobbing uncontrollably, I would put her face in my hands and tell her the truth.

You have to pick yourself. Beauty comes from a heart that loves fiercely, dreams freely, and lives with passion. You are on the path to becoming an amazing woman who will, in time, see how beautiful you are right now. You are beautiful because you are wholly yourself and no one else. No 18 year old boy named Jeremy will ever fully get it, but the world will fully receive it if you let your beauty run free; if you stop hiding it away. Beauty is a heart issue, not a body issue. Live from your heart.

Embrace who you are and LIVE fully TODAY.

  • Be yourself; be beautiful.

What truth would you tell your 15 year old self?

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Today Matters And So Do You {What’s Beautiful}

May 19, 2013 by 3 Comments

I have a confession to make.

Yesterday I didn’t shower or apply deodorant until 5:00 pm and I went out in public in this disheveled state. Does Home Depot actually count as being out in public?

Oddly enough, I didn’t care and felt pretty dang cute (and stinky) while I scurried around the flooring section asking questions and getting the supplies the three men I had left in my construction zone of a home needed in order to continue installing flooring.

That is my hair...not the tree. I think the sweat and sawdust created some sort of epic hair product.

That is my hair…not the tree. I think the sweat and sawdust created some sort of epic hair product.

I ran around and smiled happy as a clam to be who I was, stink and all. One man even thanked me for coming in and chatting with him. I gave him a high five and kept on my way, there was flooring waiting for me!

All of this surprised me.

I stunk, had strange dirt from nearly two decades all over my tank top, my shorts were very dirty from scooting on the floor and pulling up staples, and my hair was standing on end. I was, and still am, the antithesis of a fashion model.

Beauty ain’t about the outside.

Have you ever met someone who you thought was beautiful until they opened their mouth? Complaints, distain, egotism, and self centred talk is some of the ugliest stuff around. Also hating yourself and having nothing good to say about yourself is anything but attractive.

Over the course of the last 5 years, I have been on a personal journey to redefine beauty. To embrace being beautiful and being more than just ok with who I am; to live out my passion and purpose and change the world for the better as I do it.

The most beautiful women I know are the women who:

  • know who they are
  • don’t compare themselves to others
  • set audacious goals and chase them down
  • take care of themselves
  • live from passion and purpose
  • give their live away to help others
  • use words to encourage, not tear down

Beauty is a by-product, not the goal.

I am working with Under Armour on their What’s Beautiful campaign. I love this campaign because it is not about who is the skinniest, most muscular, or prettiest.

DECLARE A GOAL. THEN SHOW US HOW IT’S DONE.

Together we’re redefining the female athlete by setting epic goals and pushing past where we’ve ever been and where we thought we could go. Join us. Set your own personal goal. Then document your journey by posting videos and photos that tell your story from start to victory.

Fitness and health has been woven into the fabric and foundation of my life. Without fitness and keeping my body healthy, the rest doesn’t work.

Strength, in and out of the gym, is an intrinsic part of beauty.

Be audacious. Be fierce. Be yourself.

My goal is to earn the strongest and most conditioned body I have had all while managing my pesky autoimmune disease. I will keep my health and increase strength, power, and speed.

More than before: To earn back a stronger, more conditioned peak performance body all while kicking my autoimmune disease in the teeth! I WILL.

More than before: To earn back a stronger, more conditioned peak performance body all while kicking my autoimmune disease in the teeth! I WILL.

There is one thing I have learned over the years, you can’t do it alone.

I want you to join me in the journey; to set a goal and *crush* it. In the midst of dreaming and chasing your goal beauty will come, it always does.

It is time for YOU to start redefining beauty.

Every single day, choice, and activity – no matter how small – matters. Huge dreams are accomplished in the small actions you take when no one else is watching. If you want to do something great, start by doing the seemingly meaningless and small things with me.

I want to hear about it. I want to follow you as you journey to greatness. I want to watch you be amazing!

Today Matters: Choose to show up fully, dream big, work hard, and do all the little things that create HUGE success over time.. I WILL.

Today Matters: Choose to show up fully, dream big, work hard, and do all the little things that create HUGE success over time.. I WILL.

The team just launched today, which means we are just getting started. There will be inspirational pictures, goals, videos, and who knows what else posted in the team.

Heck, it is going to be fun with a capital F.

Did I mention you can win fab Under Armour prizes?

THE COMPETITION.

Every week we’ll give away Under Armour Swag Bags full of gear to women who are seriously getting it. We’ll also feature profiles on our home page and in the “Top Performers” section of women who are really setting an example for all of us.

After 8 weeks, we’ll announce the 10 finalists who’ve documented the most impressive, motivated, monumental stories.

Winners will be announced mid-July.

THE PRIZE.

Three winners will be flown to Costa Rica to attend a four-day yoga and surf retreat. In addition to the lessons led by world-class instructors, winners will be treated to transformative massages, spa treatments and healthy, locally-sourced meals prepared by personal chefs. All while staying in plush accommodations looking out at the ocean. A retreat worthy of the women who earn it.

Costa Rica, eh? Somehow I think I could manage that!

So are you in? What’s beautiful to you?

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Don’t Be a Bottomless Pit

May 18, 2013 by 5 Comments

This morning my eyes snapped open at 6:13 am.

The sun was already up which apparently cued my body to wake up since I usually get up at the same time or earlier than the sun. My body makes me crazy, even if I am tired and went to bed at midnight, it wakes up and tells me to get moving even when I am exhausted.

We have been experiencing a glorious start to spring, yet nothing was good at 6:13 am this morning. I glared at the birds, sun and cool morning breeze wafting through my window.

Glorious 'happy little' clouds.

I am not really sure how weather like this can be annoying…

Everything in the world, including me, was wrong. As I listened to my internal dialogue, I found myself grumbling.

Grumbling about everything.

  • Epic flooring project
  • Coffee wasn’t already made
  • Lack of sleep
  • How behind I am on my projects
  • My hair which needs to be dyed
  • Commitments which I was previously excited about
  • How I haven’t ‘arrived’ yet
  • Planning for my road trip to Cali for a conference
  • Overflowing email
  • Having to hand wash dishes

Grumbling begets more grumbling. Before I could say, ‘Shazam!’ everything was wrong and annoying. When I am in that perspective there is never enough. Nothing is good enough and everything is wrong.

Why is all about me?

I was annoying myself, which is a sure sign you are very annoying. Epically annoying. I was glad my gracious husband was still sleeping and I was alone with my horrible, no good, very bad self.

  • Instead of putting a lid on it, I found a bottom.

Yesterday my husband and father in law spent all day ripping up flooring and installing new flooring for me while I was at work. I have an amazingly comfortable bed, I have a job and clients which I adore, my grey hair has come with an amazing amount of life experience and wisdom, people want to talk with me and give things away to my readers on my blog, my fridge may be in my living room but it is full of food, I have running water, I am better today than yesterday, my dreams are bigger than me and are still coming one day at a time, and I have a husband who continually gives up his comfort to ensure I have mine.

When there is a bottom, you fill up. 

Suddenly there was more than enough. The chattering of the early morning birds became my morning soundtrack and in the process of filling up on gratitude and coffee the grumbles and complaints were pushed out in the overflow.

We either add or detract from the people in our lives.

Be a plus, not a minus.

We are supposed to take what we need and when there is more you have to give it away. Just like with food, when you consume too much you get bigger, and not in the ways you want to.

Managing the appetite of your heart is a daily process. What you consume today creates tomorrow’s standard.

Take what you needPhoto

Fill up on joy, gratitude, and love. Then find more and give it away faster than you can say ‘Shazam!’ because there are people out there who need it. There will be more tomorrow.

When you have a bottom, a standard, you create overflow.

What are you overflowing today?

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Don’t Ask God To Help You Diet

May 14, 2013 by 2 Comments

Smaller pants here I come!

After staying at the same weight, give or take a pound or two, for the past two years I finally ready to slowly diet. I have the mental reserveto be hungry some of the time and to not let hanger get the best of me.

  • One change, one at a time.

My health has increased, I can tolerate more food and maintain my current weight, and I have a closet full of clothes I can’t wear. I am literally down to one pair of jeans and I refuse to buy another pair at this size.

The tipping point of my decision was the weather change. All but three pairs of my shorts cut the circulation off at my waist.

Lunches and dinners have been trimmed down, my morning post workout protein bar no longer has chocolate chips in it, and evening snacks aren’t eaten in an effort to get more energy to stay up later. I go to bed thinking I am hungry, but in actuality I am just exhausted.

Being hungry now and again isn’t going to kill me.

My first day of full out ‘dieting’ was today. My normal breakfast of cinnamon chocolate kasha with vanilla protein was consumed and then I hit the workout hard. It was back day and full of sumos, rows, lat pull downs, and high rows topped off by HIIT sprints; sweat was literally dripping off my elbows and eyebrows.

When I finished, I was one hungry superwoman.

Don’t ask me why, but I decided to pray about my new diet this morning.

Ok Jesus. I am ready to lose some weight. Let’s hit this diet hard, you and me. Are you in it with me? Help me to eat less and be satisfied with my portions and life. Dietloree here we come!

I’m pretty sure a stranger, more ridiculous prayer has yet to cross my lips.

Due to early morning meetings, I had to rush out of the gym and eat on the road.

My book, water bottle, and protein bar were shoved into my purse as I fled as quickly as possible in my heels down the YMCA corridor. I hopped in the car as my husband pulled up and immediately started chatting about the day to come. 15 minutes into the drive my stomach announced it’s empty state with a loud growl and I started to rummage around for my protein bar.

It was nowhere to be found.

Pens, lipgloss, book, water bottle, wallet, markers, journal, and earrings all appeared but my second breakfast did not.

Why does God answer my ridiculous prayers?

As I ran in heels, my protein bar must have fallen out of my purse. I have no doubt became a protein pancake within moments of it tumbling out of my purse and onto the busy street.

For the love of breakfast!

For the love of breakfast!

As I sat in my office hungry and somewhat annoyed, I remembered my silly prayer.

Guess what?

I didn’t die from hunger and had a great day, even though I was *gasp* a whole meal short.

Apparently my ‘stored fuel’ is coming in handy already.

  • Note to self: be more specific in the ridiculous prayers or ask for better things!
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You Have One Job: Be Amazing

May 12, 2013 by 3 Comments

Yesterday I dropped into bed with swollen ankles, very sore feet, dream tan smudged all over my arms from hugging excited athletes, and a smile on my face. I was exhausted and very happy.

I love bodybuilding shows.

Helping people with the final push to make their dream come true is a privilege. It is an honor to serve and help people because when you do, suddenly you get to partner with and share in their story and success.

The morning show is fraught with anxiety, pep talks by your’s truly for the scared athletes right before they walk on stage, and last minute questions. I explained t-walks, where the marks were on the stage, and helped find bikini bite so many times it became something I could do without even thinking.

This is my perspective of nearly every INBF show.

This is my perspective of nearly every INBF show.

As the classes go on stage I find myself posing, smiling, and spreading my lats on every relaxed pose with each and every athlete. Do that for 100 athletes twice in a day and going to the gym is not required. Did I mention the amount of times I ran up and down the stairs looking for athletes?

During the break I crashed hard.

Totally normal to borrow a friend's hotel room for 1.5 hours, right?

Totally normal to borrow a friend’s hotel room for 1.5 hours, right?

My favorite part of a show is being able to speak life, encouragement, and hope into first time athletes. Walking on a fully lighted stage in the smallest suit you’ve ever put on in your life with hundreds of people watching is not easy, but it is amazing.

When your name is called, there is no more time to prepare. These athletes have done the work and their only job is not worry and just be themselves and be amazing.

Just be amazing.

When it is your time, whatever time that is, your moments of preparation to get you there all create something remarkable and when you just let go and be the magic happens.

We are supposed to make magic with our lives by doing small, seemingly insignificant things with our lives because there are moments, your moments, when you are called to show up.

Your job is to prepare for when your name is called.

remarkable or invisiblePhoto

Dream big and then chase your dreams with your whole heart. It doesn’t matter if your dream includes training like a mad woman, applying fake tan and gluing yourself into a small suit or not.

What matters most is that you dream.

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Embracing the Sweaty Mess

May 6, 2013 by 4 Comments

Summer came two days ago.

We skipped spring completely up here in the subarctic and sprinted from winter as fast as the seasons can run; from snowing last week to 30 degrees today is quite the change. It is hot and I welcome with open arms the  complete opposite of our -40 cold snaps, plugging in cars, and fleece lined tights.

It was seriously snowing just last week...

It was seriously snowing just last week…

As soon as it is above zero, Edmontonians bust out the shorts. My first experience of people wearing shorts in April made me scratch my head until I realized they knew something I didn’t.

  • You’re about to need air conditioning.

For the past week, I have been telling my husband that I am hot and I find myself sweating…a lot. Apparently this is normal for a healthy person experiencing warm weather. I had forgotten with my health issues for the past several years. Last summer, I wore shorts two or three times and was usually found wearing a coat or wool socks, even in July.

I am not going to complain, just point out that sweating results in a lot of shirt sticking, water guzzling, and desire to find some shade and lay down.

It also makes your safety glasses slip off your nose while ripping up flooring.

This is the look of fierce determination...smashed up finger and all!

This is the look of fierce determination…smashed up finger and all!

I was not put off by the sweat, rather I guzzled a good 2 litres of water while we ripped up the tile in our kitchen. I think my shins even started to sweat at one point.

My kitchen floor is currently the bane of my existence.

"Oh crap. This is way harder than I thought it would be."

“Oh crap. This is way harder than I thought it would be.”

My plan was to spend the whole weekend functional arm training in the form of scraping the floor up, guzzling water, and moving appliances in so we could lay some laminate during the week.

A message from my sister-in-law put all of my plans on hold.

Baby H is coming!

After our heart breaking loss last year and 9 months of praying for a healthy baby we were able to meet our nephew – Parker Louis Hoffman.

He rather cute.

Yes, your auntie takes pixelated self portraits that make her cringe. BUT she will show you around the weight room and it will be awesome!

Yes, your auntie takes pixelated self portraits that make her cringe. BUT she will show you around the weight room and it will be awesome!

My floor still is covered in glue, my fridge and stove are in the middle of the kitchen, and shoes are required in my house at all times…and I couldn’t care less.

  • We have a new baby to love and family to celebrate with.

I’m embracing the sweaty mess of my house and letting it be a reminder of how thankful and blessed we are to have Parker here.

When amazing things happen, don’t forget to celebrate and soak in the moment because they only come once; things like flooring will be there when the moment is over. Just wear shoes in your house and overflow with joy!

Celebrate WELL.

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Cardinal Rule of Weight Training: Never Give Unsolicited Advice!

May 3, 2013 by 4 Comments

While training I usually pretend I don’t know anyone.

It works well because most of my friends who train early in the mornings do the same thing. We are all plugged into our respective devices, pushing the iron, and ‘in the zone’.

There may be a quick wave, head nod, or even occasional ‘hey’ but full blown conversations are avoided at all costs.

  • There’s no time for chatting when you’re lifting!

Nor do I rarely notice what other people are doing.

For the most part I do my own thing, train alone, and am a bit of a lone wolf. This doesn’t make going for failure with a skullcrusher the easiest or safest thing to do. Thank goodness for the other non-talkative women who are able to lend a spot and then get back to their training.

I have come to ignore most of the men due to the amount of times men have decided to share their horrible advice on weight training with me while I’m in the middle of a heavy set.

Yes I know the cables are higher than my chest. Thank you for pointing this fact out. I am completing high cable flyes…but thank you?

I have never given unsolicited advice to anyone else while they are training. It is one of the rudest things you can do in the weight area. If I am asked to spot, help, or give a pointer to a friend, I do so with a smile, but if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Yesterday I nearly broke the cardinal rule of not giving unsolicited advice.

While resting, I saw a man using the seated chest press machine.

Instead of using any chest muscles to move the weight, he pointed his elbows heavenward, shrugged his shoulders and heaved a mighty downward snap with his elbows leading the way.

I grimaced and shuddered a little bit and then I had to look away.

  • The weights moved, his chest did not.
It was QUITE amazing to watch...and not in the good way...

It was QUITE amazing to watch…and not in the good way…

He shrugged and snapped for three more sets.

Upon reflection, it made me remember to have goals that make sense. Moving weight from point a to point b, no matter the form, is an achievable goal but it will not get you the results you want.

  • Your goals shape you.

The achievement of a goal is the outcome of you changing on purpose, muscles being pushed to failure, or a something being done or not done.

Crossing the finish line changed for the worse is a poor way to finish.

How are your goals shaping you?

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No More Tears…or Dishes…in Heaven!

May 1, 2013 by 3 Comments

I swear my kitchen breeds dirty dishes. 

It almost makes me want to not eat, and if you know me you know this means I am serious!

Nearly every night I have to unload the dishwasher, which is more of a ‘dish sanitizer‘ than anything and then hand wash a bunch of pots and pans.

And this is a light day!

And this is a light day!

There are only two Hoffmans in this house!

I suppose it comes from all the chopping, portioning, planning, and whatnot that I do.

Question of the day: Is it really worth it?

  • Dishpan hands plague me.
  • There have been more moments than I care to admit when an item has to be ‘fished’ out from the brink in order to make supper.
  • My lunch bag only makes matter worse as it good for at least 6 pieces of ‘Ziplocware’ which need focussed attention.

Some days I dream about heaven and think about how wonderful it will be. On these days I hope I live in a castle complete with dragon, moat, and library complimented with an amazing latte machine and no lactose intolerance.

Then there are other days, like today, when I pray for no dishes.

Dear Lord, please let there be no dishes for I have done my penance 4 times over. You can have the moat and dragon, after all they are probably more trouble than they are worth. If I promise to drink all my lattes out of paper cups and recycle, do we have a deal?
~Tired, Dishpan Handloree

Do you pray for no dishes in heaven too?

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Soy Real, No Pefecta!

April 27, 2013 by 1 Comment

This past week I have talked more about Hashimoto than I have in a long time. Usually I try not to talk about it too much because it is rather ambiguous, strange, and confusing for most people.

Trying to explain it in a succinct way to people is nearly impossible.

Donloree’s quasi explanation of Hashimoto.

I have a crazy autoimmune disease which wreaks havoc on my body. I can’t eat a lot of things, my body rebels on a regular basis, I fight against mood swings and health related issues, my body is on fire a lot of the time, and there are some days when I wake up but my body doesn’t. I look fine on the outside but on the inside I am severely crippled. Many things that should ‘just work’ don’t in my body. Discipline and determination along with joy are my tools to make it through the day. It is epic, but I choose to not let it rule my life.

It is at this point when most start to back away slowly and look confused.

A question I often ask.

A question I often ask.

Photo

Hashimoto came up in conversation with people struggling with health issues, coworkers as I moved offices, and over dinner with my squash girlfriends.

On Wednesday I was honored to be asked to talk with someone who had been recently diagnosed with Hashimoto and was able to share parts of my story with her. To tell her there is hope and health, but that it takes discipline, determination, time, and not caring what anyone else thinks about you and your ‘strange choices‘ as you journey back to health.

As I talked with her, I recalled some amazing truth I have learned over the years through my struggle.

You are more than your body.

As women, we tend to disqualify ourselves when we decide we aren’t pretty enough, thin enough, svelte enough…the list goes on and on.

No perfectaPhoto

If I were to diet to be ‘enough‘, I would be on death’s doorstep once again.

My body can’t take it.

Where it sits today it is happy and has enough to keep me going through my whole day. I am no longer just surviving, but I see moments and glimmers of thriving.

I refuse to exchange my life and dreams for a thinner waist.

Truth poured out of my mouth.

Loving yourself, being healthy and full of joy, and chasing down your dreams with abandon is more attractive and amazing than being magazine cover beautiful. The world needs more real and amazing women.

What a great reminder for not only myself, but every woman.

We all have struggles and obstacles. How we face them and what we do despite them is what makes you shine because the true, amazing you comes out.

You are gorgeous in, through, and despite your struggle.

  • In fact, the struggle is an intrinsic part of your beauty.

When you get squeezed, stressed, and pushed in life who you really are comes out. Make sure it is beautiful before the trials and obstacles come.

How are you shining in the dark moments and places?

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Why Buying ‘Beautiful’ Pants is a Bad Idea

April 20, 2013 by 7 Comments

Have you ever gone shopping and tried on a pair of pants that is ‘beautiful‘ but tight? Perhaps a girlfriend was there telling you how perfect they are and how great they look on you. That they were YOU and you shouldn’t leave the store without them…so you bought them because you told yourself after a couple wears or pounds lost they would be perfect? That somehow working through the initial discomfort they would fit perfectly?

Yes?

Good to know I am not alone. Before I did the massive purge of everything I owned, I had pants, sweaters, shoes, skirts, and dresses galore that were ‘beautiful‘ but didn’t fit.

Yes! This 100 times over!

Yes! This 100 times over!

Photo

Not even close to fitting.

Looking at a closet full of clothes that don’t fit is discouraging. Frustrating. Heck, it made me not want to get dressed in the morning and that wasn’t an option. For some reason old t-shirts and short-shorts aren’t boardroom appropriate.

Societal rules can be so constricting!

After a whole weekend and week of only doing the things that had to be done and resting, basically purging everything that didn’t fit into my life out, I came to an odd realization.

I hate my stuffy blog.

I don’t hate my blog, but I hate how stuffy it currently is. How sensible and boring it is.

Whenever I come to blog, I feel like I have crammed my arse into a pair of pants that I can’t sit down in. I find myself not blogging, sharing my life, or being myself because I listened to a bunch of people that told me it made sense to be ‘more professional‘ and ‘to make sense‘ because ‘you are confusing‘.

Going to a party in beautiful pants that you can’t sit in makes for a crappy time no matter where you are or who you are with.

It is time to ditch the pants and be confusing.

normal is boringPhoto

Once again the blog is going to become interesting, I am going to go back to fun and confusing, and the look and feel is going to be me – not what makes sense.

Being normal chafes.

Besides, since when have I ever made sense?

For those of you who have suffered through this time of me trying to shove myself into a pair of pants that other people have told me look great on me, I commend you.

It is time to laugh a little and live A LOT!

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